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Yet she didn't run away.
She put one foot in front of the other until she reached the stage. Until she bowed in front of the audience, absentmindedly noticing her mother in the crowd. She moved until she found herself in front of the piano, the haze covering her field of view leaving her absolutely lost and aimless.
But beneath it all there was still a glimmer of conviction.
Noelle was still determined to not letanyoneget the best of her.
It took her a moment to get herself under control, but she'd always been able to show a strong front even when she was crumbling on the inside. So she took advantage of that experience to add an air of confidence to her movements. Her features were serene, but locked tight in concentration. To everyone watching, she knew exactly what she was about to do even though she was stepping into foreign territory.
She still had her first piece. So she played it. She threw herself into the music and the work she'd put in for months on end. Her hands were playing the rehearsed sound while her brain was quickly trying to catch up with everything that had happened in order to find a solution.
If there was one thing Noelle knew, it was that she would not let anyone step all over her.
She would win.
As her first piece came to an end, she paused, a slight smile on her lips as she accepted the clapping of the audience.
But soon, the moment of truth came.
Noelle stared at the white keys, and the black that made for a mosaic of extremities. She stared it for a moment too long before she released a deep breath.
She could do it.
Her previous piece had been about the power of love—albeit a topic she was entirely unfamiliar with. She'd composed it by vicariously experiencing the emotions the characters in her favorite show did. Retrospectively, she would agree that maybe that was why she'd been unable to finish the piece—why she'd been forever dissatisfied with it. Because it was all fake emotion, fake love, fake empathy.
It was all fake.
But this time, it wouldn't be.
Maybe it was because she'd tried so hard to make her sound everything shewasn't, she'd always gone for a brisk and bright tone. Despite what she felt inside—despite every experience that made her who she was.
Not anymore…
The moment her fingers touched the keys, a mournful, soulful sound escaped. It was the fates weeping in front of the tragedy even they were unable to prevent, for one event put the other into motion. Humans were given free will, which then triggered the fall.
Noelle had never been particularly religious, despite her family's catholic leaning.
Yet in that moment she could see it all in perspective.
She could see the potential for good. But more than anything, she saw the intention for evil.
One note after another, her eyes closed as her sorrows bled into the keys, the sound emanating through the auditorium one that spoke of hope and hopelessness—the two so intertwined there was no longer a middle path.
For the first time, Noelle didn't play about other people.
She played about herself. About the pain she'd never shared with anyone—the pain no one wanted to acknowledge.
Through a succession of notes, she was able to show the world everything it never wanted to see.
I am human.
I hurt.
I have feelings.
I want to give up.
But I won't…
