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She'd understood him from the very first time when he'd told her, but she'd thought she could do it her own way. Although she'd curbed her outbursts and had sought to remain in her own bubble, she'd still come across asodd—different. And Cisco was right. Everyone hated her for it.
Despite her talent, and despite the hard work she put into her piano, she'd always been hated. Noelle supposed that had it been someone else in the same situation, someone more lovable, they would have been rather loved.
The conclusion was always the same.
It was her fault. From the beginning it had been her fault.
At the same time she found the idea of someonelovingher so far-fetched that she didn't know how she could ever pull that off.
And that left only one thing…fear.
"People can't sympathize with what they can't understand. So you must search for a common point. Give them at leastsomethingto relate to, and you will win them over—in love, or in fear," Cisco continued, and Noelle nodded.
"I'll try…" She took a deep breath, her brother's words rattling her.
Finally, she could see the trip for what it was. An intervention. Cisco had given her time to cool off first, since he'd known she would have never been agreeable to such a conversation when the incident had occurred. But now he'd gone straight to the root of the issue.
She was the problem. Or, better said, herstubbornnesswas the problem.
Foolishly, she'd thought she was going to make the world accept her. That she could truly liveagainstthe world. And she'd been proven wrong time and time again.
The incident with Ann Marie had just been the cherry on top.
She was quiet as Cisco finished up with the rabbit before moving to the bird. Wrinkling his nose as he checked it up, he pointed out some signs of disease and suggested they left it there.
Noelle merely nodded, already in her own world.
"Why don't we split up? I want to see if I can find something on my own," she forced a smile.
Cisco narrowed his eyes at her, slowly pondering the matter. He seemed to sense her need to be alone for a few moments. He knew he'd been rather direct with his observations, eschewing tact in favor of much needed honesty. But he couldn't let her continue on her path and destroy her future.
Even if she hadn't done anything to Ann Marie, the fact that she'd reacted so unlike a normal person in the face of murder had made her a prime object for speculation. That coupled with the dislike she'd earned from her classmates over the years had made the gossip travel fast, as did accounts of her weird habits.
The best Cisco had managed to do had been to remove her name from the online space and threaten to sue any publication who dared publish it. It had worked, but that didn't erase the collective memory—or that of those who'd been present at the concert.
"Only if you stay within hearing distance," he allowed. "Don't go further than the demarcation I showed you and call if you need anything."
Noelle nodded, still keeping a strong front. Swinging her bag over her shoulder, she turned and left.
Placing one foot in front of the other, she didn't realize she was crying until she reached a deep part of the forest—certainly deeper than what Cisco had suggested. But she couldn't find it in her to care. Not when tears were streaming down her cheeks, her heart breaking in her chest.
She was aware Cisco had told her the truth for her own benefit. That wasn't why she was crying. It was because everything had been her fault. From the beginning, he'd tried to help her see that going against everyone wasn't the answer—that she needed to find a balance.
And what had she done? The opposite.
She'd reveled in what made her different and had focused on that instead of finding a common ground with people. It wasn't that people didn't like her, or that she'd never had friends. It was that she hadn't given people the chance to do so.
And she only had herself to blame.
She had to wonder if deep down there was something wrong with her. Had she been born like that, or had she slowly become thusly?
Noelle could not answer that question. She only knew that shewantedmore out of her life. Someone to love, and to love her in return. Friends. A career. She wanted all that, but she didn't knowhowto get them.
Cisco told her to relate to people. Buthow?
Though she'd long stopped doing that, she could remember trying and being burned for it.
Had she simply closed herself to failure? For it had been failure that had prompted her to close herself from the beginning. Failure and a deep-seeded fear of rejection.
