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CHAPTERONE
NEVAEH
Sometimes in life, we’re thrown through a ringer and end up not knowing what side’s up.
Growing up, my life was definitely something I used to say I’d cherish forever. I still do in a way, but now it’s marred by the darkness that scars my mind, body, and soul. In fact, the past feels as if it were a million years ago rather than just a handful or so. At the time, I was naive as can be. I figured I was untouchable because of who I was and those around me, protecting me from the things that go bump in the night.
Little did I know a monster would rear its face to make me suffer.
I was sold to a man who hurt women and demanded we call him ‘Master’. I was beaten plenty for defying him because , at first, I was rebellious. Then he broke me by doing what he did to others. Master would rape them, making them birth children for him. Back then, Master held multiple women at a time, impregnating one or two, if not a third, while having fun with another. If, at the time of birth, a girl was born, he sold it while the boys he kept. I don’t know why. He was weird.
I was lucky enough not to have gotten pregnant when it came my time. See, Master liked to take his time. He enjoyed the screams and them begging for him to stop. There was no way not to cry out from the pain he inflicted on us. The only thing I used to pray for was that when he came for one of us, it wasn’t me. He liked his variety, though we were all blondes.
But everything changed the day Fawn was shoved in a cell with Ryann, Peyton, and me. We weren’t supposed to talk to her, though if it wasn’t for Fawn our lives would still be what they were, if not worse.
Thanks to Fawn, we were all rescued by the Toxic Warriors MC. I was apprehensive at first, not because they were men. I knew mentally it wasn’t because of this but due to them being a motorcycle club.
See, I know what a motorcycle club is, what they’re about, and what they can do to a person if they set out to do it. So, they scared me at first. However, the club took us in, put us in a house, added security, and even gave us all jobs. Ryann and I started at their restaurant while Peyton worked at the garage.
Over time, we learned we could trust them, which was a good yet bad thing, in my opinion. This is because of a certain one of their members - Maverick. Maverick is a beautiful man, more than beautiful. He’s hot. As in the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life. Dark hair that he keeps just right without even bothering to style it. It just falls right on its own. Then there’s the scruff that’s always cut close to his face. It has a way of making him even hotter.
When everything worked out with Peyton and Ice, Maverick moved in. He claimed it was to help us feel secure and safe, but I think it was so he could drive me insane. I mean looking at him and his beautiful body is enough to do any woman’s head in, but even more when it’s flaunted in my face constantly.
I’ve gotten to the point where I try to avoid him before I make a fool of myself. So much is going on inside me, though I know without a doubt, no matter how much he flirts and plays with me, nothing can come of it. It can’t because he was there. He saw me in that cell, and I’m dirty. So flipping dirty.
Some days, while I’m taking a shower, I scrub my skin nearly off with a sponge, and still, it doesn’t feel enough.
If it wasn’t for my friends knowing what I’ve been through, I’d probably end up killing myself and I know it. It’s not easy to think about and most days I can get through without the slightest memory now. Still, there’s times when the dark slips through and I’m left fearing if the past will repeat itself.
I’m not stupid. I know something is going down with the club. I saw the guy who came into the flower shop Apricot owns and I now work at. I knew Apricot was in danger. The club is at war though I can’t confirm it. I’m not an ol’ lady so I’m not allowed this type of information, just what I’ve heard in passing and well yeah eavesdropping sometimes on Maverick’s calls.
The one thing I’ve noticed when he’s on the phone, he always seems to talk in code and never to a woman. I know this because Ryann made a joke in front of him, and he says he’s done with random women. And even if he weren’t, he’d never bring one to the home that we all share.
Thank God for this. I don’t think I could handle seeing him let alone hearing him with another woman.
I’m sure people would think I’m a bad person for thinking such things, but I can’t help it. There is no controlling a person’s thoughts. They will take over someone in a heartbeat when it becomes too much.
I remember years ago my mom telling me when I met my other half, my soul will take on a life of its own just to be with the one it connects to. She was always old school and, in our family, according to her there’s a lore my great-grandmother told her on her death bed. The women in our families thrive when they meet and connect with the one person we’re supposed to be with. That when we find them, nothing will keep them apart.
I used to believe in this story. I really did. But after everything I’ve been through, being with anyone as I once wished for is out of the question. No one wants someone who is covered in filth as I am.
What I should do is just disappear. Then I don’t have to worry about letting my dirty touch anyone. However, I can’t. Peyton, Ryann, and I made a promise that we’d stick together. No matter what we were doing or where we were. The two of them have made lives for themselves here. Me, I’m trying. I truly am.
Working for Apricot is definitely something I enjoy. Being around the beauty of nature, smelling the flowers, and creating something with this isn’t just work to me. It’s kind of therapeutic, I guess would be a good way to describe. Even more, I’m good at it. I’ve heard a lot of clients comment on the arrangements I’ve done, and it makes me feel good.
As much as I love the flower shop and being there, I needed something else to do. Something to help me work through things. It’s why I started going to the gym. I figure if I exhaust myself, I won’t have time to think or do anything else but sleep.
But even then, that doesn’t keep the demons that haunt me from showing themselves. In fact, that’s when they love to come out and torment me.
I only hope no one hears the screams I’m sure spill from my lips. If they do, then my only hope is they brush it off as nothing. For me, though, it’s something. It’s big. Bigger than I want to think about. It’s why it comes in my dreams, turning them to nightmares. It’s also something I hope to never have to tell anyone. I don’t want to think of the looks others will give me if they know the whole truth and the secrets I carry.
CHAPTERTWO
MAVERICK
“Brother, you listenin’ to me?” Viking asks, regaining my attention from where I’ve been staring at the women across the room. Okay, not women. Just one in particular.
Nevaeh.
