AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chewy
That’s easy. I’m lying in bed right now, and I’m thinking about you. Thinking about the sound of your laugh. Do you know it’s my favorite sound in the world?
My chest squeezed at his words. He’d sent a few more photos on Tuesday. One of us on Halloween with me dressed as Hermione and Finn dressed as Chewbacca. We were sitting at his parents’ kitchen table with all our candy between us. I smiled at the memory. He’d always take all the Snickers, and I’d go for the jelly beans. I printed that one, along with the other one he’d sent of us in high school, going to homecoming our junior year. We’d gone to every school dance together up until our senior year, when I started dating Carl, and Finn got to bless a few of the girls in our class that had been dying to go with him to a dance. My pile of pictures was growing, and I’d stopped at the craft store after work on Tuesday to get a new scrapbook to keep them all in.
I’d arrived home to find a package on my doorstep. When I’d opened it up, there was a box inside calledthe pleasure pleaser, and I’d opened it up to find a hot pink vibrator. I’d laughed so hard, and when I’d pulled out the card inside, it read:
This will hold you over until I get home. Twenty-eight more days, Miney. I hope you still want to move back in with me, even though I was a stubborn ass. I will love you for the rest of my life, just like I always have.
Wednesday
Chewy
Damn. I’m not sleeping well without you. It’s not the kind of lonely where I want to find someone else to keep me company because it’s the kind of lonely where I crave only one person. Only you can make me whole. I don’t want anyone but you.
That had caused me to crack. I’d sat at my desk and sobbed when I’d read it. I couldn’t not respond.
I feel that same kind of lonely. I only want you. Twenty-seven days, Chewy. I’ll see you soon. I love you.
Chewy
Work is hard. The hours are long, but the director is great. My costar, Melanie Starwood, has three kids. They are all on set. Her husband is here, too. They’re really great. This can be a family business, Miney. People make it work. I’ve never craved Hollywood. I craved the creativity of acting. I miss our life in Cottonwood Cove, but I thrive on set. No reason we can’t have both. Together. I want that. We can hire someone to help you at work so you can travel with me when you want to, and when I’m not filming, we’ll be home. I see it, Reese. I see it all with you.
He sent me a photo of him with Melanie’s three kids. Two boys and a little girl. They were all laughing in the photo and looking at Finn like he was their favorite person. I knew that look well because he was my favorite person. I rubbed my belly and squeezed my eyes shut. I already loved this little baby so much, and I knew that Finn would, too.
I see it, too. Go make some magic, Finn Reynolds.
Thursday
Chewy
I brought that shirt of mine that you liked to wear around the house. It smells like you. Violet and amber. I sleep with it on my pillow every night. That’s not creepy, is it?
Not creepy at all. I sleep in your favorite flannel every night. I stole it the night I left. I pretend that you’re with me when I fall asleep.
At lunchtime, Mrs. Runither had walked in carrying a bag of food. She’d told me that Finn had called from Tokyo and said he knew I was working too much and that it was cold outside, and I needed mac and cheese and some cornbread. I’d fought back tears because I’d been exhausted and hungry but hadn’t stopped to go grab lunch. I swear that man knew me better than I knew myself.
Chewy
Today, I had to shoot a solo shower scene. Nothing quite like being practically nude (while covering my dick with some sort of sling, XL of course, ) and letting them film my ass in front of the entire camera crew. I asked Melanie’s husband, Tony, to snap a photo on his phone of my ass so I could send it to you. He said to tell you, “It’s a fine ass, and you should know that this ass only belongs to you.”
He sent said photo of his chiseled ass, along with a selfie of him and Tony giving me a thumbs-up. I’d printed it up and taped it right into the scrapbook.
Today was Friday, and he’d sent a photo of him and me at the London Bridge when he’d come to visit. He said it was his favorite because the time we’d spent apart that year had been the most difficult in his life, and seeing me again had been the happiest. I had a lump in my throat as I’d read his words. Being away from Finn had been horrible for me, too. I’d missed him more than anyone. The only time I’d had a breakdown about Carl was when I’d learned he was dating someone else. But I’d come to realize that it had never been about missing him. It had been more about feeling rejected.
But I’d always missed Finn when we weren’t together. It was a deep longing. An ache that could only be filled with him.
I pushed to stand because today I had my first appointment with Dr. Judy Green. She’d been my gynecologist since I’d been in my early twenties, and I’d last seen her when I’d asked to go on the pill. Today’s meeting would be very different. I locked up the office and drove the short distance over to see her.
I spent the next hour peeing in a cup, getting weighed and measured, and she even used a sonogram to show me the baby’s heartbeat. My guess was that I’d gotten pregnant the night Finn’s condom broke, as I was about two months along. She told me everything looked great, and I was healthy, and the baby was healthy, as well.
I asked for a copy of the ultrasound so I could share it with Finn when he got home. It felt strange keeping such a big secret to myself right now. But I knew if I told him what was going on, he’d be on the next plane home. It was who he was.
Why had I doubted that?
Doubted that he really loved me the way that I loved him.
I’d been unfair to him. Judging him for never having a relationship and questioning if he was capable. I’d had a relationship with one man for most of my adult life, even agreeing to marry him—only now realizing I was never happy with him.
