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“Well, thank you for that. I’m going to have a lot of fun designing this room. So, let’s just talk about budget, and I’ll show you a few inspiration photos I have and get an idea of things you like and don’t like, and then I’ll work my magic.”
“Sounds like a plan.” We moved to the dining room and sat in the chairs beside one another as I pulled up the photos on my iPad.
Carl moved his chair closer so we could both see the screen. His pinky finger brushed against mine before his hand covered mine. I sucked in a breath, but I didn’t move.
“Carl,” I whispered. I mean, I wasn’t in a real relationship, but he was.
“I miss you, Reese.”
I nodded, and then I thought of Finn. Real or fake, I’d never disrespect him. I still wanted the life I’d always imagined with Carl, but I wasn’t going to act on anything while we were both actively dating other people. I pulled my hand away and turned to look at him.
“Not sure how Christy would feel about that, but I know Finn wouldn’t like it.” I licked my lips because my mouth had gone dry as my adrenaline started pumping.
It wasn’t attraction or a physical pull that I felt toward this man. It was adrenaline. I was pissed. Why was I keeping that to myself?
Here he was, telling me that he missed me, and I knew what he’d been up to.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Really? Were you thinking about me when you were fucking Christy in a closet at the hospital?”
His eyes widened, and his face paled. “How do you know about that?”
“It’s a small town, Carl.” I turned back toward the photos and moved my chair away from him just a few inches. “If you aren’t able to work with me, please say so now.”
“Of course, I can work with you. I’m sorry.” He turned so he was facing me. “I don’t know what’s going on with me right now, Reese. I’m just kind of lost.”
My heart ached at his words. I’d loved this man since we were teenagers. I didn’t want to see him hurting, even when he’d hurt me badly.
Even when I’d felt lost, and he hadn’t been there for me in any way.
Why was that okay with me?
“Well, I suggest you take some time to figure it out. I’m always going to be your friend, and I’m here for you. But as long as you’re with Christy and I’m with Finn, that’s all I can be to you.”
He nodded. “I get it. I’m sorry. And the truth is, I could use a friend right now. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
I nodded. I couldn’t say the same back to him because that would be a lie.
“I’m here for you.”
“Thank you. Now, show me what you have in mind for my office.”
We got back to work, and we spent the next few hours talking about his office, life, and just hanging out.
For the first time since I’d left for London, I didn’t feel that horrible distance between Carl and me.
But the closeness didn’t feel the way that it should feel either.
I was ready to leave, so I packed up my stuff.
Finn had texted me and said that he’d prepared a picnic for us so we could take the horses down to the water and have dinner out there.
And I couldn’t wait to get home.
To see Finn.
And that thought alone terrified me.
