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“Yeah? You sure that’s what it was?”
“What else could it be?” I asked. His fingers had moved down to my jaw, and he stroked each side in the most soothing rhythm.
“It’s okay to admit you’re attracted to me. I admitted it to you.”
“Fine. I’m attracted to you. I mean, I think every woman with a pulse is attracted to you.”
“So, what do you want to do about it?” His leg brushed against mine as we closed what little distance we had between us so our bodies were flush together.
“Well, admitting it and acting on it are two very different things. We made a pact years ago, and I think we should honor that.”
“What is it that you’re afraid of?” he asked, but he moved his thumb to press gently against my lips, holding it there for a moment so I wouldn’t answer just yet. “I already love you, and you already love me, so that’s not going to change. We aren’t strangers who might realize they love one another after crossing the line. We already do. So, we’d just be giving in to something that we both want. At least I know I do.”
God, I wanted it, too.
“What if it ruins everything? We have a little fun, and then you leave for Tokyo after the holidays, and we stage a fake breakup, and Carl and I get engaged again—it’s going to be weird between us. And I would never want to do anything to hurt what we have, because it’s everything to me.” My voice broke, and a tear slipped down my face.
I was in some sort of horndog hell. I’d never wanted anyone so badly, and I knew in my gut that it would end up destroying us.
I could survive in a world where Carl rejected me. I’d already proven that. And yes, in the end, it would hurt like hell, but I’d move on and find someone else who wanted what I wanted.
But I couldn’t survive in a world where Finn and I weren’t best friends. It would be dark and cold and lonely. And there would be no way to find another Finn Reynolds.
The loss would be too much for me.
“Reese,” he whispered, his forehead resting against mine as he wrapped his arm around me. Our legs were tangled together. His erection was weighing heavy against my lower belly, and desire pooled between my legs. “You will never lose me. There is no world in which I could exist that didn’t have you in it. I know that you want to be with Carl. There are no secrets here. But you’re single, and I’m single, and all I want to do tonight is make you feel good. You deserve to feel good. And I want you so fucking much I can’t see straight. We both know what this is. We’re living together, and the whole world thinks we’re together. So why not enjoy it?”
My fingers moved up the back of his neck, running through his hair. “You make a good argument. Carl thinks we’re having sex anyway, and God knows he’s having plenty of it. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two.” A nervous chuckle escaped my lips.
My God, was I actually considering this?
“Listen, I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. But if you want me to make you feel good. If you want me to show you all that you’re missing. If you want me to make you come so many times you won’t be able to see straight, all you have to do is ask. I’m not in the dark about how this ends, so stop worrying. There is nothing that could come between you and me.”
Oh my God.
My breaths were coming hard and fast now, and my hips started grinding up against his erection.
We were too close.
This was too much.
“Make me feel good, Finn,” I whispered.
His mouth covered mine. His hand was on my neck, tipping my head back so he could get better access. My lips parted, inviting him in. His tongue slipped inside, tangling with mine. We’d kissed for show before, but this was different.
Needy and desperate.
My hands clawed at his shoulders as he groaned into my mouth. He rocked himself against me as he settled between my thighs before he rolled me completely onto my back and propped himself above me. No weight from his body, just the feel of his desire throbbing against my core.
He pulled back to look at me. His hand stroked the hair away from my face, his eyes wild with desire. “Is it too much?”
I shook my head, a husky chuckle escaping my lips. “It’s not too much. I want more.”
Did I really just say that?
“Good. You need to tell me what you want, Reese. That’s the only way this happens.”
Jesus. He was so sexy and commanding. This was a side of Finn that I hadn’t experienced. How was that possible?
