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I scowl and take another bite of my potatoes. “I didn’t want to. It was all her idea.”
“Dude. You’re starting to piss me off,” Maxwell says mildly. “Stop with the self-pity party, please. Did you do a good job working with those kids?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “The kids were great. They really changed me, and I mean that sincerely. I was supposed to be there for them, but they were funny and brave and ...” I blink hard. “They made me a better person.”
“Yes, they did. So hold on to that,” Andrew says kindly.
“A lot happened. My mother left me and my dad when I was a kid, and now she only shows up when she needs money. So, recently, she suddenly reappeared in town and she messed with my head.” I grimace. “It’s stupid.”
“Stop it,” Andrew says. “Your feelings are valid. They matter. Own that shit.”
I nod. “Okay. You know what? It’s okay that I wanted a normal mother who cared about me. Rowan told me that all along. I agreed to meet up with my mother to find out why she kept trying to get in touch with me. She told me this sad story about her horrible upbringing, and for a really short period of time, it made everything about what she did make sense. I was like, okay, she had a horrible mom, no wonder she didn’t know how to raise a kid. And then it turned out to be a total lie. She was adopted by wonderful people as an infant, and she had no excuse for how she behaved and no reason for rejecting me other than that she didn’t feel like taking care of a kid.”
“That sucks,” Andrew says, nodding.
“Man. What a ...” Maxwell trails off.
“Bitch?” I supply helpfully. “Yeah. That she is.”
“Let’s talk about Rowan,” Andrew prods.
“Let’s not. I blew it with her. Last thing I need is to dwell on how bad I fucked up.”
“She drop you as a client?” Maxwell asks.
“Nah. She still came through for me afterwards, still helped me when I needed it.” I glare down at my potatoes as if it was their fault. Stupid potatoes.
“Okay, you think you blew it with her, but she was still there for you?” Chase interjects. He waves a fork that’s dripping with nachos. “Sounds like she still cares. If you don’t at least try to make it up to her, you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.”
“But ... she said she didn’t want to talk to me.”
“Yes, when we’ve been real assholes, women tend to say things like that,” Chase says. “So, she’s had a little time to get over it now, right? Make an effort. Make a grand gesture. Make a fool of yourself for her. She deserves it, doesn’t she? Worked for me.”
“Did it?”
“I have the gorgeous wife and kids to prove it.” He grins at me and takes an enormous bite of nachos.
I lean back in my chair.
Would Rowan take me back? Her career means so much to her, and I undoubtedly cost her a promotion, and made her look bad to her boss. How could she even make time for us?
Or maybe I’m just making excuses.
Maybe there’s a way to—not necessarily have it all, but to make things work. To compromise.
Chase is right. If I don’t at least try, I’m going to go to my grave regretting it.
We’ve got one last game this season, and I need to really, really make it count.
I need to get the girl.
45
ROWAN
“It’s goingto be an amazing game tonight. I can feel it.” Cecelia is wearing her Snyder jersey,and I, under protest, am wearing my Mason Raker jersey.
I got a message a couple of days ago from Mason.I miss you. Please come watch my game. I promise it will be worth your while.
