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“Hmm,” she murmurs, then leans forward. Her voice is softer. Seductive. “If I could do anything with no bad consequences at all…I would find someone I’m compatible with and go on a road trip across the country.” She sits back, waiting for a response.
“That sentence did not end where it started.”
She laughs. “I’ve always wanted to do a cross-country road trip. But you need someone you’re really compatible with to do it—nothing saysI like youlike spending every waking hour with someone in a confined space for days at a time.”
“That’s true. Maybe when we’re old, we can do it together.”
“I’d love to do it with you, Rowan.”
Stop saying things like that!Though, in all fairness, I set her up for that one. I sigh. “Once the kids are out of the house, we could rent an RV and do the whole country. Minus Hawaii.”
“Maybe by then, they’ll have RVs that can go over water.”
“I think we call them yachts.”
She giggles, and damn if her giggle isn’t killing me. “Smart ass.”
We finish our food, and it’s on to dessert. “If I keep having desserts with you all the time, I’m going to lose an ab.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that.” Autumn tries to snatch my macadamia nut gelato away.
But I press my finger on the bowl, holding it in place. “Not on your life, missy.”
She giggles again and returns to her crème brule. “Thought you were worried about your abs.”
“I’ll do more cardio.”
“We could do it together,” she says, as if that sentence isn’t loaded.
“Do what together?”Say it!
“You could join me on my morning runs, if you want.”
I huff, trying not to sound disappointed. “Uh, schedule-wise, that wouldn’t work. I’m—“
“God, Rowan, when do you do anything fun?”
“I wouldn’t exactly qualify running as fun.”
“No, seriously. When do you do anything for yourself?”
“I told you before, Autumn. I don’t have time for that.”
She sighs, looking me dead in the eyes. “I think you should make time for something fun. You owe it to yourself and everyone else in your life. If you don’t get the stick out of your butt soon, it’s going to be there permanently.”
“That sounds painful.”
“You know what I mean.”
I sigh. “I know. Okay? I know. Literally everyone is worried about me. Even my babysitter is on me about it.”
“So, then maybe you should think about what you can do to change that.”
It’s all I can do. Think. Ruminate. Mull. Ponder. If I were to act on what I want, I could lose our friendship. But I can’t stop thinking about this. I shouldn’t have backpedaled when she brought up the idea. Did I miss out on the friends with benefits window? Is it too late?
When we were younger, at least one of us was always with someone else. Maybe that was why I’d never seen her like this before. Or maybe fate said our timing was off back then. Who knows? But now, we’re both free, and all I can think of is having Autumn in my arms again. Those lips. And that fucking moan.
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