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“This whole thing makes me wonder if anyone can really be trusted.”
Okay, she was right. That feels like it’s about me. I gulp. Not sure how to respond…
“I think some people can be trusted, and some people can’t,” I say. “The trick is finding the right ones, and unfortunately, it’s impossible to know who they are. You have to try to hope it works out for the best.”
“I’m twenty-eight years old. I don’t know how many more years of trying I have in me.”
Trust me!I want to scream it at her. But we are not a genuine couple. We’re a pretend couple. Kinda. “That part of it, I very much understand. When I consider the possibility of dating again, I have to find someone I can trust the kids with, not to mentionme. But it’s the kids’ part that worries me much, much more.”
“Do you think that’s why you’ve been so hesitant to date?”
“Without a doubt. It’s easy to use work as an excuse. And it’s more than that—I’m busy all the time. But when you don’t have a partner to draw you back to home, it’s easier to say, ‘Yeah, sure, I can stay late.’ I mean, I have the kids to pull me here, but half the time, I think they do better off with Hannah than me—
“Don’t say that! They adore you, Rowan.”
I shrug. “I know they do. But Hannah can get Ellie to brush her teeth, and she can get Jonah to put his iPad down. They listen to her better than they listen to me.”
“Because they’ve had a lot of practice with her.”
“I’m sure you’re right. When I come home, I feel like a visitor in my house. Like, the kids don’t need me, and when I come upstairs to an empty bed, I could be at a hotel…it doesn’t feel like home without a partner here. I’m digressing…the point is, work is a convenient excuse to avoid progressing forward in my private life. Keeps me from…wait, nowyou’remaking this about me, and I’m supposed to be comforting you.”
She giggles. “Caught that, did ya?”
“Come on, Autumn. Tell me more.”
“I’m not sure what else there is to say. I’m lonely sometimes…less lately. But the thought of putting myself out there, only to get cheated on again,” she sighs, “it would devastate me, Rowan.”
I kiss her shoulder, wishing it were her lips. “I can’t say it’ll never happen to you again, but I want to. What I can say is, if some guy ever cheats on you again, I’m beating the crap out of him.”
She laughs. “Then out of the need to keep you out of jail, I should never date again. Just in case.”
“You can’t give up!”
“Why not? You use work and I’ll use keeping you out of prison, and together we will remain single forever.”
I chuckle until the reality of that sets in. We could be single and together forever. “How about this instead? I spoon you, and we get cozy, and fall asleep with the alarm off. When we wake up, all of our problems will be solved. I won’t need Hannah. You won’t need to cater to the whims of socialites—
“What is this?”
“An adult fairytale. I read fairytales to the kids sometimes before bed, so I thought it might help you, too.”
She giggles and snuggles onto her side, so I spoon her. “You will stop using work as an excuse to avoid dating.”
“And you will sleep a perfect and dreamless sleep every night, knowing that a dragon breathed fire on Mark’s car for you.”
Another giggle leads to a yawn. “I think this is working.”
I kiss the back of her neck and fight an erection. It’s difficult—her perfect ass is pressed right up against me there. “You will never date again, so I can stay out of prison. You can get a rescue dog, and take pictures with her, and all your friends and family will be excruciatingly jealous of your simple life.”
She sighs deeply, half-asleep. “Perfect.”
I rub her hip again and kiss the back of her neck. Touching her skin, I can’t help but harden up.
She stiffens. “I’m not up for that tonight.”
“Involuntary. Sorry. Ignore him.”
“Yeah. Okay. Goodnight, Rowan.”
