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“Then you’re more gullible than I thought.”
I tried to steady my breathing while I measured him up, trying to see some sort of crack in his façade that would help me understand his behavior. “And that’s a bad thing? Maybe I’d rather be gullible and naïve instead of being a cold, controlling asshole who is so jaded he thinks everything good in life is tainted in some way.”
“Again, you know nothing.”
“Stop being condescending and presumptive. I’ve dealt with my own hell. You’re not the only one.” My vague truth leaked out, but I knew what I allowed.
“You think you can throw out big words to define me? You think you know me?” Never had he shown any emotion in front of me, yet he was now.
“You’re not that hard to figure out. ‘You will not go to parties. Do not bring shame on our family. You are my responsibility, and I will protect you by any means necessary,’” I mimicked his voice, maybe adding a bit more accent and dramatics than needed, but I was on a roll and couldn’t stop. “Who in their right mind has this thought process?”
He glared down at me and shook his head. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Maybe he was right, but I saw him as an enigma, and I was desperately trying to piece it together.
“No, I’m just a naïve girl who can’t make decisions for herself,” I said sarcastically.
“You want to make light of this?” he growled. “He was bragging to his friends about how he was going to fuck your tight Romanian cunt.”
I paused, stunned. “He wouldn’t say that.”
“Keep living in your dream world, Sorina.”
I studied the sharp angles of his stubbled jaw, fascinated by the slight tic as he ground his teeth. “Do you always believe the worst in people?” I asked softly.
“Yes. I learned early on that self-preservation goes a long way in this world, and you can never put your faith in others.”
Why was he so cynical? “What happened to you?” I studied his face, wondering who had hurt him. My anger started to wane, and I tentatively reached out, curious about the scar on his chest. I thought he would catch my wrist and stop me like he did the first time I noticed it, but he made no move as he bent his head and peered down at my hand. My confidence grew. I traced the bumpy lines of raised skin under the soft cotton of his shirt. “Someone hurt you.”
“Don’t try to analyze me.” His response was reactive.
“I’m not. Something happened to you.”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“It does matter,” I breathed. I could feel his strong heartbeat thumping steadily under my fingertip.
“Why? So you can rationalize why I am the way I am?”
“I think it would help me understand you.”
He smirked. “I am not that complicated. But it’s cute how you think I am.” He touched the cross of the necklace dangling at my collarbone, and my heart skipped a beat. “You wear this all the time.”
“My mother gave it to me when I was a baby. It’s one of the few keepsakes I have from her.”
“Your mother,” he murmured, and twirled the gold symbol between his finger and thumb like it was something foreign. His eyes were still hard. “Do you believe in God?”
“Of course, I do. Without faith, what’s the purpose of life?”
“And you would pray for my soul?” he rasped, his accent more defined in his slow speech.
“Are you making fun of me?”
His eyes dipped, never giving anything away, acting as if he didn’t hear my question. “Tell me. Was your faith so strong when you lost your home and your family and were left to run the streets?” I could read the underlying rise of anger as he studied my face.
“Yes. My faith was never stronger. I knew I would survive it somehow, someway, and faith played a big part in that. You have to believe in something; otherwise, the world would just exist in darkness.” Believe me, I knew darkness, but I chose to act as if it didn’t exist, suppressing those memories.
“Such an idealistic view.” His lips rose in a smirk that made me want to smack it off. “You know what I think?” He tugged on the cross, pulling me closer to him. My hand was still on his chest, keeping me from falling into him. “I think the world is full of darkness, and it’s up to me to decide whether I let it suck me under or fight against the pull. And guess what? I fought.”
I exhaled as a tremor ran down my spine. The tension was thick in the air. Too heavy. It took effort to work out the next words. “What happened to you, Dmitri?”
