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“Yes, there is so much to plan for. You have no idea,” my mother chimed in and rambled off a list of all the things she needed to do to prepare. Her voice blurred into nothingness as I watched Axel’s knuckles whiten by the side of his plate. A wave of nausea threatened to surge, and I swallowed thickly.
“Mrs. Pradhan.” Axel’s voice was still strained, and his eyes were stormy. He looked like he was about to lose his composure. “May I use your bathroom?”
“Of course, it’s down the hall and the second door on your left.”
“Thank you.” He deposited his napkin by his plate and stalked off.
“Kanchu,” my mom said as I finally dragged my eyes away from Axel’ back. She signaled to my untouched plate. “Eat. You haven’t touched your food.”
Nodding to Mom as if on autopilot, I pushed the food around on my plate, and my stomach quivered. I couldn’t eat, so I played with my food like a little kid.
The chatter around me sounded like background noise as I felt my pulse thud dully in my head. Several moments later, Axel hadn’t returned to his seat, and I was anxious. So much so that I knew it wouldn’t pass. I set my fork aside slowly. “Excuse me.”
Standing up, I measured my steps as I walked calmly down the hall, passing by the bathroom that was unoccupied. I looked in regardless, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Where the hell was he? Moving on, I stopped at my bedroom door, which was half ajar, and pushed it open, gasping as I saw Axel sitting on my bed, holding a white stick in his hand. He raised his head and leveled me with a concerned gaze. “Is there something I should know?”
I sprinted to the bathroom and locked the door, barely making it to the toilet before I vomited.
Natalie
After my stomach stopped heaving, I swiped the back of my hand over my mouth and rose slowly to brush my teeth, despite the light-headedness consuming me.
“Natalie! Open the door,” Axel’s voice boomed, startling me out of my inner thoughts.
Righting myself, I unlocked it, tugged on the handle, and sank against the door, dropping my head.
“You okay?” he asked softly and touched my shoulder.
“I’m fine,” I lied. Everything was chaotic, and Axel was here in the middle of it. Nothing in my life had been neat and orderly since I’d met him.
“You’re not okay. You look like you’re about to pass out.” He picked me up and carried me to my bed.
My pulse raced, and warmth unwillingly filled my chest. His familiar scent flooded my senses. Then I remembered how my mother would have a conniption if she caught us together like this. “Axel.” I struggled to sit up. “You can’t be in here. My mom will kill you if she catches you in my room.”
He tightened his arm around me, keeping me from getting off the bed. “Let me worry about that. I’m only concerned about you.”
“I’m not your project anymore.”
“You will always be my project.” I felt the bed sink behind me, and he began stroking my hair in a soothing manner.
I closed my eyes and exhaled unsteadily. He was making it difficult for me to push him away. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to relax in his arms and let all my problems slip away. Yet, my stomach lurched, bringing me back to my harsh reality. “I’m going to be sick again.” I shoved him away and sprinted to the bathroom.
Hugging the commode as I dry heaved, I felt his presence behind me as his hands were at my hair, holding it back. When my stomach settled, I panicked and said, “You need to leave. This is so embarrassing.”
“No,” was all he said before he helped me to my feet and grabbed a washcloth folded on the counter. “You’re not getting rid of me.” He turned on the faucet, letting it run a few seconds before wetting the cloth. “Were you gonna tell me about this?”
“I didn’t even know or think about it until a few hours ago.”
“Have you already taken a test?” he asked calmly as if this was an everyday occurrence.
Shaking my head, I stared at the running water. “I’m scared,” I said in a small voice.
“Don’t be.” He leaned over and swiped the washcloth over my forehead, down my cheeks, and across my mouth gently. He was being so sweet, so caring, and tears sprang up in my eyes. “Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it, okay?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and nodded. He dropped the cloth and pulled me into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Natalie. Please give me another chance, I promise I will never hurt you again.”
My throat felt tight, and I was already an emotional mess. However, when I peered up at him, I felt all my hurt and anger melt away. “Do you promise?”
“I swear on my fucking life.” His voice sounded ravaged. Then, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. My tear-filled eyes widened in surprise before I curled into him, relishing his mouth like a heady drug.
