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What could possibly go wrong?
The SUV doors open and I know I need to reveal myself. Waiting could make things much worse. What if they take me for an intruder, or I need protecting and they don’t even know I’m nearby?
“Guys,” I hiss.
Vadik and Niko have already exited the front seat, so only Kir hears me. He whips around at the same time he draws his weapon.
“WHAT THE FUCK, CHARLEIGH?” he hollers when he sees me peeking over the seat.
Don’t make yourself small. Ask for what you want. You deserve it. And you can have it. I raise my chin. “You’re not doing this without me.”
The truck opens and Vadik and Kir are standing there. They don’t look happy. “I… I thought you were in bed,” Kir says.
“Iwas. And now I’m not,” I say, scrambling out of the back. “I need a gun.”
The three of them look like I’m crazy.
They are not far off.
Vadik shakes his head slowly. “No. Absolutely not. I’m calling one of the security guys to come get you right now. Niko, wait with her.”
I get right up in Vadik’s face. “That’s bullshit. I’m ready for this and you know it.”
He inhales slowly and deeply, like the parent of a toddler trying to keep their shit together. Which makes me all the more pissed. “I’m sorry, Charleigh. I know you want this. Hell, you’re risking your life right now by being here with us.
I poke him in the chest with my forefinger. I don’t know who I surprised more, him or myself. “There. You just said it. If I’m risking my life, you know you are too.”
He grabs my hand off his chest and whips it up behind my back. I can’t move and while it doesn’t hurt, it’s not comfortable, either.
Fine. He’s got me.
He gets right in my face. “You will wait here with Niko. You are highly vulnerable right now and need to get the hell out of here. And I don’t want to hear anything more about it. Understand?” he growls, so close that his breath is warm on my face.
“Yes,” I whisper, defeated.
“Now get back in the SUV,” he says.
I crawl into the backseat, fighting back tears, and Niko slides in next to me. With my arms crossed tightly, I look out the window, wishing I could disappear into a hole in the ground.
Yes, I am fucking humiliated. These guys treat me like a child. They don’t take me seriously. And I’m sick of it.
Niko’s fingertips brush my thigh, and I scoot further away from him. The last thing I want right now is any attempt by anyone to comfort me.
He sighs and pulls his hand back. “Charleigh. I know what it’s like to feel left out.”
“No, you don’t,” I snap.
“Hey. You don’t know what it’s like to be me, to be the bastard son of a family like this. You never fully feel like you belong, no matter how long and hard you work to prove yourself. I’ve inherited an empire that I’ll never really feel belongs to me, like I’m some sort of hanger-on. Sometimes, like when I stay busy, I don’t think about it, at least not for a long time. But it’s always there, the nagging doubts, like do I deserve this, have I earned it, and do I really belong here. My brothers and parents have never treated me like I’m anything less than a full member of the family, and yet, my illegitimacy hangs over my head like an annoying cloud,” he says.
I finally look at him. I get the point he’s making, and yet our situations are so different, I don’t see how he can compare them.
Five minutes later, one of the compound’s security guys shows up. I mutter asee you laterover my shoulder to Niko, because I can’t bear to give him anything more.
He might like some reassurance that I understand, that the rules have sunk in, and that I have accepted my proper place in this small family, but I can’t give him that.
After all, if I don’t believe it myself, how can I convince him of it?
* * *
