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Yeah, I can be a dick that way.
Jasper winces. “You are so full of shit, Eth, it’s just sad. But I’m telling you, don’t even think about getting with Ava. My best advice is to keep her in the friend zone. Her brother is a brute, and you don’t want to get on his bad side.”
I throw my arms up. “What? Andy doesn’t live within hundreds of miles of New York. Why would I give a shit about him?”
Seriously. Over-protective older brother doesn’t want his college buddy nor his friends hitting on his sister. Story as old as time. But he’sseveral states away. I don’t give a fuck about any of his hang-ups, even if he is a friend.
I continue before he can answer. “As for this shindig at the senior center, the one youbothare attending with me, well, it’s not exactly a party. It’s more like one of their regular gatherings. We’ll chat, play cards, or Bingo. Oh, and they always have good cookies.”
The clatter of lunch plates surrounds our table as Leo and Jasper are momentarily stunned into silence.
“You think… Eth, you seriously think we want to do something like that? What have you been smoking, dude?” Leo asks.
I turn the heat up on my earnestness. “Come on, guys, you have to come. It’s a nice thing to do. These seniors are lonely and could use our company. Wouldn’t you want someone to visit you when you’re pushing eighty?”
Leo shakes his finger at me. “Look, just because you befriended these people when they were your neighbors does not mean you are permanently committed to visiting them in their nursing home. Eth, your job there is done.”
I look at Jasper. “Leo here clearly doesn’t get the concept of charity. You know, doing something good for someone other than yourself.”
“Now wait a minute—” he starts to say.
But he’s interrupted by Jasper. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. You’re reminding me of my Gam-Gam and how she withered away in a nursing home. We wanted to visit, but the truth is, my dad was too busy drinking to care.”
Leo and I don’t speak, like we’re offering a moment of silence to Jasper’s shitty childhood memory. After thirty seconds, I pick right back up.
“Okay, thanks Jas. I knew I could count on you. Now, Leo. Are you coming or not? I know you’re a nice guy. I mean, hell, look at what you’re doing for your little brother.”
Leo pays the lunch tab since it’s his turn, and I see him leave an extra-big tip for the waitress. He is a good guy. He really is.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go. But I don’t wanna be around when crazy Andy the big brother comes to visit.”
We head out, leaving the heavy, fried, greasy smell of the diner—which I personally love—to enter the exhaust-saturated air of midday Manhattan.
“Thanks guys, I appreciate this. I think we all will. And look, Jas, it’s not like I want to marry the woman. I just want to see if I can… ya know, help the woman out a bit. And yes, to do that, she might have to be naked, but we’re all adults—"
I freeze at the curb just before crossing, a bicyclist whizzing by so fast I can smell what the jerk had for lunch.
“Hey, asshole, watch where you’re going!” I shout, shaking my fist.
Jasper and Leo sigh with a ‘here we go again’ attitude. But I don’t care, and when I see the cyclist turn around and head back, my pulse speeds. I clench my fists and flex my biceps.
You want a piece of my mind, little man?
A tall, wiry guy with zits pulls up in front of me, the rest of the crowd continuing to cross on the green light.
The guy shifts the pack on his back and, still half-seated on his bike, looks up at me. “What did you say to me, fuckface?”
I love it when assholes give me an invitation like this.
I stretch to my full height. That, combined with my standing on the curb and the biker being still on the street makes me look like a fucking giant.
“You nearly mowed down a dozen people, dude, people who had the light.”
I fucking hate guys like this, who play chicken with pedestrians.
Little man opens his mouth to say something, but when Leo and Jasper flank me, he spits at the ground, turns, and continues on his way, his last word an extended middle finger.
“You know, Ethan, someday someone’s gonna call you out on your big mouth,” Leo says. “And leave you with a big, juicy, black eye.”
