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Strangely, he stayed in last night, which irritated the hell out of me. I’m used to having the apartment to myself all evening, a least until he stumbles home, usually with a woman. But I have to say, he was super nice, suggesting we order a pizza and watch a movie. He even let me pick. So, to be a brat, I choseEat, Pray, Love. I am sure he hated every minute of it. In fact, he dozed off halfway through. Of course I woke him up and told him he was missing a good part.
Shitty of me, I know, but I owe him for all the times his sex noise kept me up. Watching him wince at the mushy parts, for as long as he was awake, was the highlight of my evening.
I’m not sharing this with Cami, though. She’ll get the wrong idea. Not that her current ideas are all that great.
But if I’m not imagining things, Jasper was extra-attentive last night, for the first time asking me about myself and my work. It was weird. Nice, but weird. Sure, he’s my big brother’s college buddy, but he’s never cared to inquire about me before.
What changed?
I don’t have time to worry about this now, though.
“Well, you’re going to that thing with your roommate’s friend Ethan, so just think about it.”
Goody. Can’t wait.
“I have one more thing to tell you,” Cami says, guilt splashed all over her face.
What now?
“So… I know I told you I took the Craigslist post down. You know, the one searching for a man to give you—”
“Cami!”I hiss. “Tell me you took it down.”
She wrings her hands, and I have my answer. Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut about everything? I should have known better than to trust her, BFF or not.
“I saw Pain In the Ass snooping around here the other day, asking about your assignment,” she says.
“Don’t change the subject and I don’t want to talk about Pia right now. Tell me, what have you done?”
She pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Look. You have all these responses.”
No. Just no.
I don’t want to look.
I do, though.
And there before me, is the first of the dick pics. One guy apparently opened his pants in a restroom stall, pulled them just below his stuff, and shot it with the camera held as far out as he could. The angle is not good. Not at all.
I cringe. Cami cringes. And then the giggling starts. I feel shitty for laughing at some guy’s dick, but he did, after all, send it unsolicited.
The worst part is that he has about the biggest bush I’ve ever seen on a man, so big it dwarfs his circumcised penis like a little hair sweater.
I laugh until I can’t breathe, until my eyes water, and until other people in the office start looking my way. Thank goodness no one comes over to check to see what’s so funny, because there’s no way any of this can be explained.
* * *
15
AVA
“Ethan! You have a little girlfriend,”a petite white-haired lady exclaims, holding his face between her two hands and gazing at him with all the affection a grandmotherly figure does.
Holy crap. Did he tell this woman I’m his girlfriend?
I start to straighten her out, but Ethan throws an arm around my shoulder and brings his lips to my ear. “Go with it,” he whispers. “Just go with it.”
And with that, he places a big, juicy kiss on my cheek.
