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I peek out my bedroom door to make sure I’m still alone, and decide to stand in the doorway so I can hear him coming.
I can’t risk him hearing any of this. It would be disastrous if, one, he knew my terrible secret, and two, he knew the way I am attempting to solve it.
Or, the way Cami is attempting to solve it.
“Jasper—” I start to say.
A shriek flies from the other end of the line, momentarily deafening me. “No. Fucking. Way. I told you he was hot, Ava. Your roommate! Now that is fucking hot.”
I take a breath to start when she interrupts me again.
“Holy shit, did you sleep with him too? Does he have a big dick?” she asks, her excitement growing.
“Cam, I’m trying to fill you in. Just listen.”
Bedsprings squeak in the background, and I know she’s sat her ass down. Now, hopefully, she’ll be quiet and let me speak.
“As I was saying, I kissed Jasper and Leo, and Ethan kissed me at the senior center party he took me to. Just pecks on the cheek, but still. All three of them.”
What I don’t share with Cami is how freaking thrilling it was, and how that night I lay in bed, unable to sleep, wondering if I should pull out the new vibrator from Cool Vibes, a shop for adult toys and generally any ‘pleasure product' you can imagine, where, coincidentally, I’ve been invited to speak.
That’s right, me the sexpert, living for the big ruse.
When the clerk saw the name on my credit card, she about peed herself. She summoned over the manager and everyone else in the store and proudly introduced me. They were honored I was patronizing their store, looking for toys to get my groove on. I didn’t have the heart to tell them I get tons at work for free, but that I can’t bring myself to use them. It feels like someone is watching me.
Crazy, I know.
My new vibrator, however, remains in my nightstand in the bag I brought it home in. I suppose buying it was pretty much an exercise in futility, anyway. I don’t want Jasper to hear me buzzing away and besides, vibrators make me sore. Although that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try this one.
Hope springs eternal, yo.
Cami gasps. “Av, I have a good feeling about this. And you know how I get feelings about things.”
I sure do. I remember well the first time she was convinced her husband was cheating and made me come with her to follow him all over town on errands. Turned out he was picking up flowers and food for a nice dinner—forher.
“Nothing will come of it, Cam. I just wanted to tell someone. It feels so… reckless.”
“Oh my god, it’s about time you let your hair down and live a little. You need to get your ho-bag on, girl. ‘Cuz believe me, once you’re married, there’s no going back…”
She drones on about all she gave up to get married, while I organize my things for the next day. I go to put my laptop in my tote, but it’s not on my bed where I left it. I look around and find it on a pile of books on my dresser.
That’s funny. I could swear I left it on my bed.
Cripes. The pressure of my situation is getting to me. I can’t even remember the smallest things.
“Hey, Cam, I think I hear Jasper returning—”
“Okay, okay, I just want to say, you’re on a roll. A juicy roll, I should say.”
She cackles at her own joke.
“I’m gonna run, Cam. Have a good night and thank you for listening.”
“Oh, honey, I am here for you always. I’m gonna make sure you are well-taken care of if it’s the last thing I do. In fact, one of Steve’s cousins is coming to town next week and he’s a nice enough guy…”
“Um, didn’t I meet him recently?”
Cami pauses. “Oh. Yes, you did. Look I know he’s no Prince Charming, but he’s a nice man and you could give him a shot. Just don’t tell Steve because he gets weird about this kind of thing. I think his cousin has come to town before and hit on some of Steve’s female friends and then turned into a bit of a stalker. But just this once shouldn’t be so bad. Know what I mean?”
