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She looks at me like she wants to tear my head off. “Ethan, I am the sex and relationship columnist for the top women’s magazine in the U.S. People think I know shit. But I don’t. I’m a big fraud. Hell, until the other night, I’d never had an orgasm.”
She looks Leo’s way. This time, instead of looking like a fucking hero, he nods sympathetically.
“You don’t understand. If the magazine found out I was ‘faking’ all this, they’d fire my ass. And if you guys know, I have to wonder who else does.”
As Ava shares her story, I feel some clarity coming on. I want to be someone she can rely on, someone she can trust. I know Jasper and Leo feel the same. And yet, we embarrassed her about her deepest, darkest secret. Intentional or not, how could we be so clueless?
We have only one chance to make things right with Ava. If we blow this, I have no doubt there’ll never be another. We have to let her know our intentions were pure, even if our execution was a mess.
“This is what I propose, Ava. Go get dressed and let’s all go have dinner. It’s early yet, too early for you to be holed up in your room in your PJs avoiding us like the assholes that we are,” I say with a half-grin, hoping my lame attempt at charm might wear away some of her armor. Give us a chance to redeem ourselves.
Her eyes divulge a mix of uncertainly and hope. She doesn’t want to hate us, not really. She just needed to be mad for a while.
Without a word, she gets up and disappears into her room, returning five minutes later in a form-fitting dress and little boots. In that short span of time, she’s gone from sad girl to freaking gorgeous, smiling, confident, and back on top. I could learn from this woman, not dwell on the disappointments of my own past, and maybe even calm my hot-headed temper, as well.
The restaurant we choose is a cozy rooftop place, not much to look at, but full of old-school New York charm and inventive dishes from an up-and-coming chef new to the city. The amazing view of the skyline as well as the dulled street noise, thanks to being several stories up, eases the evening’s tension, and I, for one, can finally breathe with ease. Drinks are ordered, and the camaraderie we guys are hoping for begins to return.
“Never thought I’d see us together like this,” she says, shaking her head.
Jasper slings an arm over the back of her chair where she’s seated right next to him. “Maybe not, Ava, but I’m damn glad we are.”
She looks around the table once our drinks are delivered and holds up her glass. “I want to toast the three of you for not running away from an awkward situation, and for not letting me avoid it, either. Sometimes adulting is painful. But it’s worth it in the end.”
Cheerssound all around the table.
I’m not sure I’ve ever eaten dinner so fast. Everyone is still picking away at their plates, and mine is nearly empty.
“Wow. Guess you liked your scallops, Ethan,” she says.
“Pure heaven,” I say. “I needed something really delicious like that. Thinking about dessert.”
“Oh yeah. What’re you gonna get?” Ava asks.
Jasper and Leo look at me, and I take my chance. “Why don’t we go back to your place and find out?”
* * *
31
AVA
I studyEthan’s chiseled face, and it’s so kind and apologetic, I can’t stay mad. I have to hand it to him and the other guys, they really stepped up to the plate like grown-up men rather than running away like other assholes would have.
My ex comes to mind.
After the turmoil of the day, calmed by the guys’ efforts as well as an amazing dinner, a weight lifts from my shoulders and for the first time in weeks, the future is something I’m looking forward to. Excited about, even.
I am breathing again. I can write my damn article and stop stressing over it. Rinse, repeat.
And when Ethan drops his flirtatious suggestion, that we have dessert at home, it dawns on me that I don’t want to be alone tonight. I want our boundaries to blur, and I want the electricity that sort of tension brings.
I don’t know why, and I’m not going to question it. It is what it is.
In fact, before we even left the restaurant, a familiar ache spurred me to hurry and finish my dinner, and even call for the check before Jasper and Leo were completely done with theirs.
If anyone noticed my impatience, they’re not complaining.
On the walk back to Jasper’s and my apartment, my fingers brush with the guys’, depending on who’s walking next to me at that moment. The attraction, while it might be ill-advised—I’ll worry about that later—is undeniable, magnetic, and what we all want, at least in this moment.
