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He finally spoke as we started climbing the stairs, though he didn’t look back at me. “We ran out of coffee.”
I waited for the punch line, but nothing came. “And?”
“AndI hate dark roast. I think it’s bitter and disgusting and I don’t know how you drink it black. Before you started living with me I would only buy the lightest roast I could.”
I shook my head as if it would help his words make sense. “So?”
“So, when I went to the store two days ago I bought that fucking espresso roast you like, even though I can’t drink it without dousing it in cream and sugar.”
“Why would you do that?” My voice quivered as I spoke, but I don’t think he noticed.
“Because nothing else tastes right.”
I didn’t speak again as we rose higher and higher, not able to trust my words. My mind was racing so fast that nothing made sense except the touch of his hand and the broad width of his back. I followed him without question, my heart driving my legs forward.
He pushed open the door to his apartment and led me inside, not slowing until we reached the bed. In one swift motion he threw me forward, forcing me to sit on the edge.
I didn’t know what to do or say, but I didn’t need to.
Reese dropped to his knees and buried his head in my lap, his fingers holding onto my legs like I might run at any second.
“You want to know why I only did shows with you?”
“Yes.”
“It’s the same reason I stopped doing porn. I realized I only want to have sex with someone I love.”
For the first time in my life, I truly understood what people meant when they said that time stood still. I noticed everything, all at once. The smell of lavender, the way his breath tickled my thighs, the gentle tremble in his hands.
I pressed the tips of my fingers against his head, pushing him up so I could caress his cheeks with my hands.
Watery eyes looked up at me, full of fear. He was afraid of what he had told me, and afraid of what I would say. Maybe we were both cowards, but we had faced each other in the end, and that was what mattered.
“Reese,” I said, running my thumb back and forth across his cheek. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the first night we spent together.”
His lips quivered as he struggled to hold back his emotion. It’s what he always did, but I never realized how much it hurt him. Somewhere along the line, he must have decided to push himself down and keep everything bottled up tight inside to protect himself. No more.
“I love you, too,” he whispered. “I can’t-” his voice caught, but I just waited, stroking his cheek, until he found his words. “I can’t give you what the Byrnes can. Everything I have is in running this club, and I just don’t have the same kind of resources they do. I know I can’t compare to them. That’s why I don’t have the right to ask you to stay with me.” He shook his head. “But I am a shameless man, so I’ll do it anyway. I want you to stay here, with me. I want you by my side every day for the rest of my life. The only future I can imagine is with you if you’ll have me.”
I smiled. “That almost sounds like a proposal.”
That managed to drag a weak laugh from his lips. “When I propose to you it’ll be ten times better than this, but still less than you deserve.”
I rolled my eyes before scooting back on the bed and pulled at his arms until he followed me up. He was defenseless and I pounced, rolling him over until I had him pinned beneath me. “I don’t give a shit about who deserves what or what you can or can’t give me. All I want is for you to love me and to let me love you. Agreed?”
Reese lifted one of his hands and brought it to cup the back of my head, pulling me down towards him. Our lips met, and I could feel his smile. Jesus, I had butterflies. We had kissed dozens, hundreds of times before, but this one felt real in a way the others weren’t. He had never kissed me like this before. Like I was soft. Like I was sacred.
Reese’s fingers twisted in my hair, pulling me to him like the moon pulled the tides. I could barely breathe, his touch the only thing keeping me centered.
I leaned away as we broke apart but strong hands held me in place. He looked up at me, amusement playing over his features. “I believe I was the highest bidder. I’d like my prize.”
My brow shot up. “You expect me to believe you have an extra half million lying around?”
Reese’s eyes sparkled, and all signs of their earlier turmoil vanished. “It’s the principle. Besides,” he mused, “aren’t you already mine?”
He bucked his hips towards me, the firm length of his erection unmissable. I fought back a smile. “Yes, Master.”
“Good.” His hands trailed along the exposed skin of my chest. “Besides, you’re wearing such a pretty outfit, it would be a waste not toruinit.”
