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“So let’s move on to the next advice. Hopefully, it’s an easier one. What is it?” Leo asked after they’d placed their orders.
“You need to learn how to take a chance on something even if you don’t know how it’s going to wind up.”
Leo took a drink of beer from his pint glass. “I don’t always know how things are going to end.”
“Leo,” Yvonne said, unable to believe he couldn’t see this about himself. “You are the king of careful planning. You schedule a time to create a schedule. You have every day plotted out down to the minute. I think that’s why you were losing your shit the other night. Ryder getting that promotion has jacked up your routine.”
“I’m a farmer, Vonnie. We live and die by routine.”
“I understand that, but sometimes it’s cool to just take a risk, to throw caution to the wind.”
“Is that what you did the year you were in Europe?”
She nodded. “Sort of. I mean, I had a list of the places I wanted to see, and I’d researched where the hostels were and figured out the cheapest means of transportation so I could stay longer. It was an incredible experience.”
“I’ve always admired the way you just grab the bull by the horns. When you want something, you go for it.”
Yvonne grinned. “Really? Because I don’t remember any of that admiration coming my way the night of my bon voyage party. I seem to recall you telling me I was a reckless idiot.”
Leo leaned back in his chair. “Well, you were that too. I was worried about you taking off on your own like that, heading to foreign countries with no more of a plan than to backpack all over creation and,” he finger-quoted the rest, “eat amazing food.”
Yvonne took a sip of her beer. “What can I say? I like to cook. Besides, I came back with an entire arsenal of incredible recipes and cooking techniques.”
Leo’s eyebrows furrowed. “I couldn’t believe your parents went along with it.”
“I was twenty-four years old. It wasn’t like they could forbid me. Though my dad did assure me he wasn’t Liam Neeson, and he did not have a particular set of skills if anything bad happened.”
Leo laughed.
“Besides, I met up with lots of family along the way. I did Paris with Uncle Sky and Aunt Teagan for a couple weeks after they wrapped up their European tour. Stayed with distant relatives in Ireland for a while, and then Mom flew over to take that six-week cooking class in Venice with me. It was an incredible experience.”
“It sounds like it.”
“You should have come with me.”
Leo closed his eyes. “You know I couldn’t do that. My family needed me. Vince needed me.”
“I know. I’m sorry you don’t have the same freedom to roam, to explore.”
“I don’t want that.”
Yvonne smiled. “I think maybe you do, but you’ll never admit it to yourself.”
“There’s no point in wanting something you can’t have, Vonnie.”
Yvonne glanced across the table and noticed the faraway look in Leo’s eyes. “Pretend.”
“What?” he asked.
“Pretend you could have anything your heart desired. If you were free to go anywhere, do anything, what would you choose?”
He didn’t answer, and for a moment, she thought maybe he wouldn’t say. She was just about to let him off the hook when he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.
“I don’t know what I want.”
She thought perhaps he was dodging the question, but one look at his sad, bewildered face told her he was telling the truth.
Leo had never given himself the chance to dream.
