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But he wasn’t going to say any of that to Finn. He hadn’t even told Sunnie that his feelings for her had changed. So, he’d deflect. For now. “We were drunk the first time. We don’t even—”
Finn held up his hand, looking slightly annoyed. “Don’t bother trying to feed me that line of shit about not remembering. I know you, bro. Maybe better than you know yourself. You remember every second of that kiss. And so does Sunnie. We let you get away with denying it because you were both drunk, and it was an easy way to let you off the hook on something neither one of you should have done to begin with.”
Landon tried to figure out why Finn’s comment bugged him so much. Did he really believe they shouldn’t have kissed? Why?
Landon knew they were a mismatch in terms of romance. Knew they both wanted different things right now. Knew that the relationship they shared now was special and not something to fuck with. He knew all of that.
But that knowledge vanished whenever he looked at her.
“I get it,” Landon said at last, simply because it was what Finn wanted to hear. And because Finn was his best friend, he knew it was a lie.
Finn shook his head. “No. You don’t. Sunnie is a chronic dater, Landon. Her track record on commitment sucks.”
Landon didn’t think it was a commitment issue as much as bad taste on her part. “She picks gym rats, guys who can’t walk by a mirror without flexing. Personally, I didn’t mind that she wouldn’t commit to the lumberjack, Stunt Man and Naked Ned. They were all clueless assholes.”
Finn snorted as Landon listed Sunnie’s last few boyfriends, using the nicknames he and Finn had given them.
“You’re missing the point. The reason she goes for that type is because there’s no danger of feeling anything for them. She’s my sister, and I know for a fact she’s never fallen in love. Not once.”
Landon thought back and realized Finn was right. He hadn’t considered that obstacle. Until recently, Sunnie’s love life had been a source of entertainment more than something he’d seriously thought about. “That doesn’t mean she won’t fall in love…someday.”
Finn took a swig of beer, and Landon got the sense he was using the drink as a way of stalling until he could figure out how to say what he was thinking. “I really want her to find the perfect guy to fall in love and settle down with.”
Landon looked away, his feelings hurt that Finn didn’t consider him fit for that role.
Until Finn continued, “And I want the same thing for you. I thought Allison was perfect for you, and I’m sorry she chose her career over you, sorry that things between the two of you didn’t work out.”
Landon nodded. “She wanted to be in New York and I wanted to be here.” It was strange to realize it had only taken that one thing to drive them apart. They’d been compatible right down the line, and Landon had spent the three years they’d dated certain that she was the woman he was going to marry, to have babies with. She’d been his first true love, and his first serious heartbreak.
“You haven’t dated anyone since her.”
“What are you getting at, Finn?”
“Honest to God, Landon, if I thought it would work, there’s no one on earth I’d want to date my sister more than you. You’re honest, faithful, a good guy. But you’re looking for…”
“Forever,” Landon finished.
“And Sunnie’s just looking for a good time,” Finn added. “At least for now. I’m not sure Sunnie would respond well to your all-in approach to relationships. The second a romance turns too serious, she finds a million reasons to run.”
“I’m aware of that.” He’d had a ringside seat to every single one of Sunnie’s relationships. He’d heard her opinions on dating, love and sex countless times. She was a free spirit, devoted to her career, and she was showing no signs of being ready to settle down.
And even if she did, it would probably be with someone more like her, someone who loved to go dancing and party until dawn. While Landon didn’t mind that on occasion, his favorite nights were the ones he spent at home on his couch, beer in hand, football game on the television. Sunnie would spontaneously combust in that lifestyle. None of that knowledge was helping him.
“I love my sister, Landon. I’m crazy about the insane girl, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind to…” He sighed. “I’m not sure what to call them. They aren’t faults, they’re just who she is.”
“I’m crazy about her too,” Landon admitted. “And I get where you’re coming from.” Landon hated everything about this conversation. Finn was speaking logically, offering very valid points.
Unfortunately, none of it was sinking in.
When Finn kept looking at him with worried eyes, Landon gave his best friend what he needed. Reassurance. “I’m not going to throw away a lifetime friendship, Finn. I swear.”
Landon understood there was too much to lose if things went south. It wouldn’t just mess things up between him and Sunnie; it would be a strain on his friendship with Finn. And God, he didn’t want to think about how Aaron’s feelings might change toward him.
Finn nodded, clearly not reassured. “You’re still going forward with this silly plan, aren’t you?”
Landon nodded. He could make a long list of why it was smarter to step away. He could pit the countless items on that list against the one reason he had for moving forward. And the latter would wipe away all the rest.
He wouldn’t stay away from Sunnie because he couldn’t.
