Page 33 of Erotic Research


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Groaning, she pushed the thought away. “This isn’t helping,” she whispered to the trees around her. Worst of all, she had whispered the words “please don’t leave me” to him after they’d made love. She prayed Ross had been too close to the verge of sleep to remember her foolish request.

Chastising herself once again, she groaned. She’d done the one thing she never wanted to do—give him a reason to leave her. As long as the women in his bed kept things light and casual, he kept them. The moment they pressured him for more, he ran.

Even though she had known from the outset that their time in the cabin was limited, she had become used to having him in her bed. She loved eating every meal with him and telling him all of her deepest, darkest secrets.

Sometimes she felt a deep connection between them that promised of a real future. He made her laugh and somehow the thought of going back to New York and their once-a-week pizza dates left a cold chill deep in the pit of her stomach.

Julia rested the shovel against a tree and lightly clasped her arms around herself—more for comfort than for warmth. She wasn’t being totally honest with herself. The days in the cabin had been about more than research, at least for her. She was wearing her heart on her sleeve.

Too many more days spent in his presence and the pain of his eventual desertion would tear her heart out. She had to distance herself from him now. If she was going to salvage some part of their friendship, it was time for their research to stop.

One more night like last night would kill her. Even now, she felt as if her heart were bursting into a million little pieces. Better to halt things now. Imagine how much worse the pain would be later.

The day was warm and the snow was melting quickly. Once Ross realized he was no longer stuck, he’d be anxious to return to the city. Maybe he would leave today. It was still early. In fact, she’d suggest it. She could convince him she was well armed with enough research for her book.

She headed back to the cabin, resolved in her decision. Distance and time were the best things.

Staring down a now-cleared road, she realized the rest of her aches and pains had disappeared.

All she could feel now was the agony of her breaking heart.

Ross had been more than willing to make the trek down the mountain to retrieve his SUV when she suggested it upon her return to the cabin.

As he pulled up to the front porch, Julia stiffened her spine and took a deep breath. He was free. He could take his car and escape back down the mountain. Return to his life in the city. Return to his penthouse and casual one-night stands with gorgeous women. Their time was over and, although he and Julia had done enough “research” to fill a dozen books, she knew by the look in his eyes as he parked the car that he needed to leave. She would simply have to stand firm in her resolve.

“Well,” he said, approaching her, “looks like Sweet Pea survived the storm just fine.”

Julia grinned at Ross’s continued insistence that his beloved car was a female, whom he’d nicknamed Sweet Pea. “She’s sleek with smooth, firm lines that just ache to hug the road,” he’d joke, running his hand across the hood. To Julia, cars were merely a way to get from here to there and all she knew about her vehicle was that it was blue and it started when she needed it to.

“Thank heaven for small mercies,” Julia teased, though her heart was heavy. It’s for the best, she silently consoled herself.

“Guess you’ll be heading back to the city,” she said, pleased by the strength in her voice.

“Eventually, I suppose,” Ross answered, obviously surprised about her comment. “What are your plans?” he asked warily, as he climbed the stairs to stand beside her.

“I haven’t finished my book yet. I’ll probably stay here until it’s done. If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is. I’m the one who suggested this place to begin with.”

“Well,” she started, clearing her throat to try and dislodge the words that were stuck there. “If you left now, you could be back in the city by early evening.”

“Now?” he repeated slowly. “I wasn’t really in a hurry to be on my way.”

“Yes, but you aren’t stuck anymore. I know you don’t like to be out of the office so long. And besides,” she continued before she lost her nerve, “I really need to get going on this book. It’s hard to work with you constantly underfoot and even you have to admit no one’s ever researched a book so thoroughly!” Forcing a light laugh, she turned back toward the cabin, anxious to escape his scrutiny.

“I didn’t realize I’d been an annoyance to you,” he said shortly. “You’ve been working steadily on the book for a week.” He followed her into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Jerking at the crashing of the door, Julia twirled to face him. “Actually, I haven’t even really started the book. I’ve just been making notes. It’s too hard to concentrate with you here.” She knew her tone was slightly hostile, but perhaps picking a fight would be the simplest way to get him to leave.

“Just notes?” he asked incredulously. “Pretty intense note-taking.”

He was obviously angry, but Julia refused to back down. Truth was that for the entire week, she’d done nothing but record every blissful moment of their lovemaking. She didn’t have a plot, well-developed characters or even dialogue.

Instead, all she had was a steady stream of consciousness, a mish-mash of feelings and thoughts, a disaster of an erotic diary that wouldn’t sell a single copy because she would never let it see the light of day.

So far, she was batting zero as an erotic writer. Not that Ross knew that of course. He thought she’d been diligently plying her craft since her arrival in West Virginia.

“Why don’t we have something to eat?” Ross said, placing his hand on the small of her back, guiding her toward the kitchen. Why wasn’t he fighting with her? She was being rude and she knew it.

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