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CHAPTER ONE
CHROME AND GLASS surrounded Hannah Murphy. If it hadn’t been for the obscenely expensive plush chair, she would have sworn she was sitting in just another high rise. Maybe even the one she herself worked at. But one glance out of the wall of windows and there was no pretending that she was anywhere except London. Melbourne, her home, was thousands of miles away. Everyone she knew was probably asleep. Well, almost everyone.
With her foot bouncing at a rapid rate, her heart wanting to beat out of her chest, Hannah looked down at the phone clutched in her hand, Emma’s message appearing under the last one she had sent.
You’re doing the right thing. He deserves to know.
Hannah understood that. She also understood why she trembled at the mere thought of seeing Matt Taylor again—the man she had met seven months ago when he’d visited Melbourne. The man who had turned her world upside down in so many ways. Who had showed her pleasure she’d never dreamed possible. Who’d made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
Hannah brought her fingers to her lips, the force of their first kiss and the sad resignation of their last imprinted on the soft flesh for ever. Standing in the airport, it was as if he’d tried to brand the memory of himself into her. At that he’d been more than successful. She’d spent weeks after that lying awake in the flat she shared with Emma, thinking about him. Craving his touch while she touched herself, replaying their moment over in her head. It was a cheap facsimile of what she wanted, but it had to be enough, because they couldn’t be together. Their lives were light years apart. That was why she had only contacted him once since he had left.
That was until everything had changed.
Hannah looked down at her rounded belly, her hand coming to rest on the very pronounced bump. The baby moved at her touch, making a soft smile creep onto her face.
Oh yes, Matt Taylor had definitely turned her world upside down and now she was about to do the same to his. Hannah had no idea how he would react to the news. She didn’t dare hope for excitement—this would be a shock. At least she had had the last trimester to come to terms with it.
A trimester.
Just three months.
The world was unfair. There were women out there who could count on their cycle like clockwork. Hannah knew several such women and envied them all, never having been that fortunate. That was why she had thought nothing of missing three periods. Of course, she should have taken notice sooner of the extreme fatigue she’d been feeling...
Everyone always commented on her boundless energy. Whether at work or play, she was up for anything...until she wasn’t. So, she had seen a doctor, who had uttered three little words that she was sure had stopped her heart.
‘You are pregnant.’
Hannah had sat in the doctor’s chair listening to everything she’d said but none of it had sunk in. Shock was all she felt in that moment. How was this possible? Motherhood was a dream she had long given up on, knowing it could never happen for her.
The doctor had handed her pamphlets and written out a prescription, while saying words that had not registered. There had to be a mistake. She couldn’t be pregnant.
But she was. It had taken a while for her to come to terms with it. Only after her first scan a week later had the idea finally solidified. She really was going to be a mother.
She hadn’t said a thing to anyone in that week. She couldn’t. What if it really was just a mistake? She would have worried everyone for no reason.
And it wasn’t as if anyone had really noticed a change in her body. Hannah wasn’t slim and tall like her best friend. She was soft. She had curves that she loved.
Once she’d got that printout of the scan, everything had changed.
Emma was typing again.
At least you made an appointment so you two will have some time to talk.
Guilt curdled in her belly. She hadn’t made an appointment. She’d meant to but she just hadn’t been able to bring herself to make the call. What would she say? Especially when she had held onto the news for three months. When she’d sworn Emma and Alex to secrecy. Keeping Hannah’s secret from his friend had not been easy on Alex, she knew that. After all, they considered each other brothers—another thing to stab at her conscience.
Those three months had been hell. Every single day she would torment herself about calling Matt, telling him, but what would she say to a man she had only known for a week? A man who had only come to Melbourne for a holiday? A man who was still pretty much a stranger. A man who’d said he didn’t want to be a father.
Somehow, she’d managed to convince herself that pitching up unannounced would be far easier for everyone involved and, if Matt’s highly efficient, slightly terrifying PA sent her away, at least she could say she tried.
Hannah stared down at her phone, trying to remember all that Emma and Alex had said. Trying to believe those words over the fear about what awaited her in that office...
* * *
Hannah had been curled up on the large, tan leather couch. A blanket on her lap kept the Melbourne chill at bay. A fluffy black cat had lain on her lap, purring contentedly against her belly. A steaming cup of hot chocolate was in her hands.
Emma had sat beside her, sipping at her own cup. ‘He misses you,’ she’d said, looking at her cat, which only had eyes for Hannah.
‘I miss him too.’ Hannah had scratched Lucky between the ears, making him purr even louder. ‘It’s weird how quiet the apartment gets.’
‘It won’t be for long.’ Emma had smiled.
‘I know.’
Hannah was nearing the end of her second trimester. She’d been equal parts scared and excited for the birth of her baby. It amazed her how much one night could change your life.
Just then, Alex walked into the lounge. Hannah watched him take a seat opposite them and smile at her friend in a way that made her indescribably happy for Emma and the love she’d found. It also made her heart break to know she could never find anything like it. The closest she’d come was the reason she was scared now. An unparalleled attraction to a man who neither wanted to be a father nor could be in any kind of relationship with her.
‘You really do need to tell him, Han,’ Emma said gently, picking up the conversation from where it had fallen before. ‘Even if you think he’ll reject you. You need to try.’
Emma didn’t understand. Matt was gone. He didn’t want any part of this pregnancy. ‘He said he didn’t want children, Em.’
‘He still needs to know. What did he say exactly?’ Alex was regarding
her with an intense gaze that made her look away.
‘He said that he didn’t want to be a father. That he wasn’t cut out for it.’ Hannah vividly remembered that walk on the beach when they’d spotted a young family playing with a beach ball that had landed at their feet. ‘You didn’t see his face. He was adamant. How can I force this on him?’
‘Hannah.’ Alex called her attention with his deep voice. ‘I know Matt better than anyone. He would want to know. You wouldn’t be forcing anything on him. He always steps up to his responsibilities. He won’t leave you alone in this.’
Hannah looked down into her mug, suddenly losing her appetite for the rich drink.
‘Let me ask you this,’ Alex pressed on. ‘What are you going to do when you see him again with a child that looks like both of you in your arms?’
Hannah opened her mouth but no sound came out.
‘Do you want to avoid him for the rest of your life? Days that you want to spend with Emma given up because of this?’
No, Hannah could never sacrifice any part of her friendship with Emma. They were there for each other through everything.
‘And what about when your child asks after him? What will you say then? Give him a chance, Hannah. You’re not the only one who hurt after he left.’
Alex had made several great points. Hannah was logical enough to see that, but how would she tell Matt that he would be a father when she’d assured him that they were safe? And did he really miss her as she missed him?
‘I want to, it’s just that...’
