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‘He was always my best friend and protector. It made me think I was invincible. I mean, look at him.’ Sarah laughed.
Hannah had to admit she could definitely see why Sarah called him Bear. ‘You two have always been close?’
‘Since day one,’ Sarah replied. ‘I think he wanted to make sure I wasn’t lonely. Our dad never spent any time with us. He demanded certain things that he felt were necessary of us. Wanted Matt to change who he was, because someone as warm and openly affectionate as my brother was a disappointment. Insisted my mother stop working to look after us and get involved in a society approved charity. It was always about the image. She didn’t even work when we were sent to boarding school. I think she threw herself into her projects even more then.’
Hannah was starting to see a picture emerge of a young, lonely Matt, not receiving the attention he deserved, so he became whatever his sister needed. Sarah looked as though she were far away, seeing a reel that no one else could.
‘He used to come see me at my school whenever he had a pass to go out. Sometimes he’d come with Alex but most of the time by himself. We’d just go get milkshakes and talk. Make sure I was okay. Our parents never came unless they had to. Not even at the end of term.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Hannah said, grasping Sarah’s hand. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she ached for them. ‘It’s not fair that you had to go through that.’
‘You’re right, it’s not. Even less so for Matt.’ Sarah took a sip of her drink and placed it back down on the table, running an elegant finger around the rim of the glass. ‘The thing is, we had nothing to complain about. Not when Matt’s best friend was Alex, you know?’
Hannah nodded. She’d heard all about that story. ‘Our parents were in our lives. They provided for us. Made sure we wanted for nothing. On the surface, it all looked absolutely perfect.’
‘But it wasn’t.’
‘No, it wasn’t. I never once saw my father so much as hug or kiss my mother. It was like they were business partners, and the business was the family. He was emotionless and she was restless. We could tell. You don’t just take a career woman away from that world and expect her to be fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong, Hannah, we had an amazing mother who loved us tremendously. But I think she harboured some resentment towards us for the life she lost.’
Hannah couldn’t picture it. Even if she had to give up Melbourne and her life there so her son could have all he needed, she would never feel that way. And she had been everything to her own parents. She could feel it in her bones, even now. They had loved her unconditionally until the day they’d died. ‘Why do you think that?’
‘There was this one time, the weather was particularly bad, so Matt and I had to play inside. He must have been about ten, I think, and Mum was on a call with a friend of hers. Anyway, Matt was nearby, and he heard the conversation but he didn’t realise at the time that I was hiding closer. I remember being so proud of my hiding spot. Mum said that sometimes she felt that, if it weren’t for us, she could have had everything she’d strived for.’
‘Oh, Sarah.’ Hannah gasped.
‘I didn’t fully understand what she was saying but I remember the look on Matt’s face. He made sure he was exactly what they wanted all the time after that. Told me to come to him if I needed anything. When I got older, I understood that he’d wanted to ease the burden on her.’
Hannah felt as though she had swallowed hot coals. She felt sad and angry for that little boy who’d taken the world on his shoulders. He’d become a man who did the same. As if struck by a lightning bolt, Hannah understood why he refused to open up to her. Every vulnerability was his own because he wasn’t meant to show any emotion.
Except that wasn’t who he was. She thought back to Melbourne, the ultrasound, his smile and affection when he held her... Matt’s heart wasn’t meant to be caged.
‘Matt.’ She mouthed the word to herself, not realising she had turned her entire body towards him. He looked right at her, bathing her with his beaming smile. She so desperately wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him it was okay. They weren’t his parents. They couldn’t be because she had fallen for him.
Uh-oh.
She had fallen for him.
When had that happened? Hannah rifled through her memories, but she couldn’t find that single moment. All she knew was that it was an absolute truth.
‘You love him, don’t you?’ A soft voice came from beside her.
Hannah’s throat was closing up. Love meant trust. Did she trust Matt?
‘I...’ She didn’t know what to say. There was no denying it. But she didn’t have to admit it either.
‘It’s okay. I can see you do,’ Sarah said kindly.
Hannah looked at the young woman with a soft smile on her face.
‘I’m happy he’s found someone who makes him happy. And you do, Hannah. Even if he acts like a complete arse, know that you do.’
Hannah watched Sarah pick up her glass and go over to her friends by the pool, leaving her with a maelstrom of emotions and thoughts from their conversation.
She loved Matt.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE SUN WAS going down over the estate. Everything was quiet now. Sarah was bidding her guests farewell and Matt, well, he just needed to be alone. Which was why he was currently leaning his elbows on the balcony rail on the terrace that ran along the full length of the house.
