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“Promise you mean it,” I whisper. “Promise it’s not a game. Promise you’re telling the truth about all of it.”
“Look at me now,” he says firmly, taking both my hands and staring into my eyes. “I swear on Petey’s life, Ellie, on that precious dog’s life, I have told you the truth. I’ll never lie to you. I’ll never trick you. All I want to do is protect you.”
“Please mean it,” I moan, collapsing against his chest. “Because I want the same…”
I garble the second half, my voice shaking.
“What?” he says. “Ellie? What?”
“I want the same,” I repeat.
“You want… a marriage? Kids? A family?”
“Yes,” I yell, my voice echoing through the trees. “But how can it ever work?”
He kisses me, and we disappear into the kiss. We purposefully keep it going, steamy, hot minutes, letting our instincts take complete control. He pushes even more firmly against me, his moans deep and passionate.
“It’s enough to know you want it,” he says when we finally stop, breathing heavily.
“My mom doesn’t know the truth,” I murmur.
“I don’t know the truth,” Max replies. “Jane came to see me earlier at my office.”
“What? Really?”
He nods, sighing. “She wanted to make sure I didn’t say anything to you. Then she said she was lying before about the abortion. Maybe she was, but I remember the argument. I remember her laughing. I remember her throwing it in my face.”
“She thinks that makes her look better?” I say in disbelief. “I’m not sure Mom will believe it. She’s always sided with Jane. Sometimes, I sense Mom doesn’t trust her. She didn’t seem too upset about leaving her on the West Coast, but I’ve never heard her say a bad word about her.”
“Family is important,” he says, squeezing me, making me think of our future family. “Loyalty is important. That’s why your mom protects Jane. I understand it. I wish there were a way out of this where nobody gets hurt.”
“I wish I knew how,” I whisper.
“Tell me you mean it,” he says fiercely.
“I do, Max,” I say. “Really. I want it all. I’ve been thinking about it. It feels different. It’s like you said. It’s not even a feeling. It’s knowing, but what do we do with any of that? I need to tell Mom about Aunt Jane, don’t I?”
“That’s your decision,” he tells me.
“But if we’re going to be together…”
He sighs. “I’d like to be on good terms with your family, especially if we’re going to give her grandchildren.”
“There’s no if about it,” I say daringly, a thrill running through me.
He grabs my hips again, pulling me to him. “You’re so hot.”
“I wish time could stand still. I wish I didn’t have to decide right away.”
“You don’t,” he says. “We’re talking about family, a future, all that. I haven’t even taken you out on a date. Let’s start there.”
“Maybe you could ink me, huh?”
He smirks. “I’m not sure a new tattoo is very subtle.”
That’s right. We’re sneaking around, after all. We don’t want Mom or Jane to know for now. “You’re probably right. A date could be fun.”
“How about tomorrow evening? I can cook for us if you like.”
“Maybe we could go somewhere?” I ask. “It’s just if we’re alone… Maybe we should wait until Mom and Jane know.”
If this were a line, what he said to me about the claiming stuff, surely he’d be pushy now. Surely he’d angrily tell me I had to give him what he wanted. Maybe he’d play on the primal angle and wear me down that way, but he nods, leans down, and kisses me softly.
“Maybe somewhere out of town,” I mutter. “I know we can’t put this off forever. I’m just unsure how to tell my mom that her sister is a liar.”
“It’s a horrible situation,” Max sighs. “I wish I had a goddamn solution. It would be easier for your mom if I were lying.”
“Yeah, it would,” I say, “but you’re not. I know you’re not.”
“I will never lie to you again,” he says fiercely.
“When did you lie?” I ask.
“I didn’t tell you I knew your mom, your aunt…”
“That’s not a lie,” I say. “You just didn’t mention it.”
“But still.” He holds me close. “We’re going to be together forever. You deserve the truth always. You deserve the world.”
I love you, I almost say, but I have to hold it back.
“What now?” I ask.
He chuckles. “I guess I take you home, and you get ready for our date tomorrow.”
“You know about Jane,” I say once we’re back in the car. “If she never admits what she said to you, it will always be her word against yours.”
“I know,” he says, starting the engine. “It’s not ideal.”
“Tell me something else, then another secret,” I say wildly.
He laughs. That’s significant, how we can laugh despite all the pain. “I didn’t inherit my house.”
