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“He’s sleeping, the little angel,” Vanessa says. “I’ll bring him to say hello when he wakes up.”
“Am I crazy for checking?” Ellie says once she ends the call, looking at me over her shoulder.
She’s so beautiful, her hair tied up, partly tamed. She’s even curvier, more perfect since giving birth. Every time she flushes now, I remember her after the birth, Seb cradled in her arms, the love beaming out of her cheeks.
“I know they’re in the house,” she says, as if taking my silence as a yes.
“You’re an amazing mother,” I say fiercely, but focusing on keeping my hand steady. “The fact you want to check, even though he’s in the house, shows you are an incredible mother. I’m blessed I get to see it.”
“I wish he got to see it,” Ellie whispers.
She’s talking about her dad, I know, the reason for this tattoo. I’ve brought the top half to life, the sun bleeding into the horizon, the upper part of the car.
“But we’ve got so much to be happy about,” Ellie says.
My wife’s like that. She can be glum for a moment, a breath, and then remember she can open her heart and let all the brightness of her life wash in. Then she completely lights up, vibrant and magnetic.
“Okay, so I never got to finish the sonnets.”
“That was a sour compromise,” I say, “but I understand why the school thinks I might be biased. At least I still get to teach. At least you still get to study.”
“But apart from that, Jane isn’t going to get out for sixteen years. Cillian and that other awful man got longer. Mom is babysitting our beautiful child. When this first started, could you imagine any of this?”
“That’s the thing, Ellie,” I say, gently guiding the needle across her skin, inking her forever. “I could. All of it. The first time I held Seb was like meeting an old friend.”
“I know what you mean,” she says. “Like finding a piece of ourselves.”
“Ourselves,” I repeat. “Yeah, that’s it. He’s the best little boy ever, isn’t he?”
She beams. “Only because he’s got your eyes.”
“He has your hair.”
She giggles. “He doesn’t even have hair yet.”
“Hey, that’s not true. He’s got a few wisps, and they’re brown, just like yours.”
She smiles. “Do you think we should get to work giving him a brother or sister once the tattoo’s healed?”
I lean over and kiss her on the cheek. Even now, I’ve still got to be careful not to push too hard or let myself go. There’s always a danger of losing control with my wife.
“Is that even a question?” I say, and she laughs.
EPILOGUE
NINE YEARS LATER
Vanessa
“Happy birthday to you,” I sing. My heart floods with joy as I look around my daughter and son-in-law’s large dining room, with tall ceilings and two glistening chandeliers. “Happy birthday to you.” All around the room, there’s love and happiness.
There’s Chloe, the friend Ellie met in college, with her arm around her girlfriend’s waist. There’s Kelly and her husband, Kelly’s belly showing her bump, with Ben standing next to them, his tatted arms on display. There’s Lacy, Ellie’s old friend from her restaurant job, holding the hand of her adopted daughter.
Ben sees me looking and raises an eyebrow, a small smile on his face. Max’s best friend. Kelly’s dad.
“Happy birthday to Seeeeeeeb!” we all sing.
Ellie stands behind her son, my daughter, with her hand resting on her pregnant belly. My other grandchild, Jennifer, stands beside me, holding my hand. I try not to squeeze too tight, but it’s difficult with all the love bubbling up inside of me.
“Happy birthday to youuuuu!”
Sebastian grins and blows his candles out, his brown locks bouncing around his face. Everybody cheers and claps their hands, and Max starts cutting the cake.
Many people know Max by his pen name now. Max’s work has reached a new level since my talented daughter graduated. She used her persuasive writing skills to transition to marketing. With Ellie’s support, he got a movie deal when he revealed his name. My grandchildren will never have to want for anything.
“Do you think they saw me looking?” Benny asks a few minutes later when everybody is mingling and partying. The kids are in the yard, having fun in the bouncy castle, with a few playing in the pool.
“I feel like a teenager, sneaking around,” I say, shivering when he takes my hand and leans in.
Then he stops. “Uh oh.”
“What?” I say.
He nods off to the side. I follow his gaze. Max and Ellie are standing at the window, looking directly into the hallway.
“Grandma, Grandma,” Jennifer sings, running over to me. “Can you bounce?”
“In a sec, sweetie. I need to talk to your daddy first.”
“Okey-dokey.”
My heart breaks every time she says that. It’s too cute.
Ben and I go into the garden together and walk over to Max. He’s standing in a cluster with Kelly and Ellie. Ellie and Max are holding hands. It’s funny to me how odd that sight would’ve seemed once.
