Gillian loved this man more than anything else, and although she was happy that she was finally with him, it also scared the hell out of her.
God, I hope this doesn’t tear us apart.
David had brought Gillian back to his room. For the last hour, he’d just been lying on the bed listening to the sound of her breathing, watching her back slowly rise and fall, and finally running his fingers over the curve of her spine.
But now, he was on the edge of the bed, his forearms on his thighs, his thoughts heavy. He needed to tell her about who he really was, and what he’d been doing all these years. But the thought of ruining this, of telling her his darkest secret, his twisted desires, scared the shit out of him.
The sound of Gillian rustling behind him had David looking over his shoulder at her. She stretched, the sheet moving slightly down to her lower back. The curve of her ass and the crease between the cheeks was visible, and he felt his cock harden once more.
He could have gone all night with her, but he knew he’d been on the rougher side, and pushing her wasn’t what he wanted. David wanted her to be with him on her own, because she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
“David?” Gillian said in a sleep-filled voice.
He still looked at her as she slowly pushed herself up and looked at his side of the bed. She rubbed her eyes, her hair tussled, her cheeks still pink from their fucking.
“I’m right here, baby,” he said and reached out to rub his hand along her foot that peeked out from under the sheet.
“Is everything okay?” She was facing him now, the sheet at her waist but still showing him a glimpse of the trimmed hair that covered her pussy.
God, he could just tackle her to the bed and fuck her until she couldn’t even form a coherent word.
But he didn’t answer her, just turned away and looked at where his hands were clasped together. The soft touch of her fingers on his back had him tensing, and he knew prolonging this was only going to make it that much worse and that much harder.
“We need to talk,” he spit the words out, angry with himself but knowing what the right thing to do was. When she didn’t answer, he looked at her over his shoulder and saw a worried expression on her face.
“Our relationship is ruined, isn’t it?”
Fuck, he hated that she sounded so damn vulnerable.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby.” He turned fully and pulled her close so she was nearly on his lap. He just held her, the sheet loosely wrapped around her body, her head resting on his shoulder.
“I was worried that what we did could ruin what we have.” She was tracing one of his tattoos, and he watched her finger trace the sharp edge that covered his forearm. “David?”
“Yeah, baby?” He kept his voice low. She was silent for a moment longer than was probably normal, and he pulled back slightly. “Hey, are you okay?”
She looked up at him and smiled, but she was nervous, he could tell. “I love you.” Her voice was soft, hesitant. “I’m in love with you, David.”
His heart stopped, his gut grew tight, and he felt a happiness he’d never felt before. He cupped both of her cheeks and kissed her senseless. He kissed her until his lips were sore. When he pulled back, it was to see her smiling, but she still had that tenseness about her.
“I love you, too, baby.” He rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. “I’m so fucking in love with you.” She wrapped her arms around him, and for the longest time, they just held each other. But he knew what had to be done. “And that’s why saying this is so damn hard.”
Her heart was beating so hard and fast, for a second, Gillian wondered if it was possible for it to burst through her chest.
She pulled the sheet more tightly around her body, shielding herself for whatever was to come, even if that ammunition was only words. Sometimes, those hurt even more than a physical blow.
David didn’t speak. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed or cover his nudity, but clearly, he had more important things to worry about.
Is he going to tell me how wrong this all was? Is he going to say we should have time to ourselves, to really sort this all out?
“You’re kind of freaking me out here,” she said softly, seeing the concentration, even the worry on his face. He reached out and took hold of her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and then exhaled as if preparing himself for what was to come.
“I love you.” He looked right in her eyes. “I’m so fucking in love with you, have been for years, Gillian.”