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His words soften me, but that feeling is snatched away a moment later when he continues.
“You aren’t just putting yourself in danger. You’re exposing any vulnerable member of this house. What if they came here? What if they saw Bec on the grounds? Did you ever think of that?”
“They don’t know where I am,” I choke out. “And it’s me they’re after.”
The muscles in his neck strain as he tries to calm himself, and I can’t help my reaction. I shrink into myself, going back to what I know. Closing myself off. Burying the pain and refusing to let it come out.
Last night, Azrael told me I could trust him. But right now, all I feel is the sting of his words and the heat of his scathing gaze.
“Tell me why,” he grits out. “I need to know how this happened. How long has it been going on?”
I tear my gaze from his, tension coiling in my body as I stare out the window. There’s no way I could possibly be vulnerable with him right now. Not when he’s like this.
“Tell me,” he barks. “I’m done playing games with you, Willow.”
“It’s not a fucking game to me.” My voice wavers, despite my efforts to keep my emotions in check. The fact that he would think so hurts more than anything.
“Then tell me the truth. How do you know The Disciples? How did you end up on their radar?”
“Haven’t you heard?” I toss my angry words back at him. “I’m a fucking witch, Azrael. That’s how I’m on their radar.”
He considers it for a moment before he shakes his head. “No, there’s more to it than that. They don’t leave letters like this. Something had to have happened to provoke them.”
I stare at him, empty. That word, provoke, feels like a blade to the heart. He couldn’t know what he’s saying, that I somehow provoked Caleb Church into trying to rape and murder me. That, in some way… this is my fault.
I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth. Maybe he does deserve it, but I can’t handle the possibility of opening up to him only for him to cast blame on me. He knows I was supposed to stay pure for him. He wouldn’t understand why I ever thought it was okay to sneak around with a boy when I was sixteen. Even if nothing happened, despite Caleb’s attempt, would Azrael believe me? Or would he see that as a provocation too?
I can’t take the chance of him lobbing more accusations at me. My heart can’t weather that. So, I do the only thing I’ve ever known how to do. I keep my mouth shut.
“Goddammit, Willow,” he snarls. “You will tell me—”
A sharp knock on the door interrupts him, and he casts a murderous glare in that direction before he sighs. “What is it?” he calls out.
“It’s Bec,” Emmanuel responds from behind the door. “You need to come now.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Panic bleeds into Azrael’s voice as he joins Emmanuel in the hallway, me trailing behind in my nightgown.
“She took a turn this morning,” Emmanuel says. “The doctor’s here with her now.” He pauses to look back at his brother. “It’s not good, Azrael.”
They quicken their pace, and I follow in their wake, my bare feet slapping against the floor as I try to keep up. Azrael doesn’t look at me, and I’m glad for it. I couldn’t bear it if he told me not to come along, and there’s no way I could abide by it either.
A strange feeling settles in my gut as I think of Bec, and I know it’s related to her illness. It isn’t right what I’m feeling, and Elizabeth’s whispering voice confirms it.
Protect her.
I nearly stop cold at that, but I catch myself and keep going, straggling after the brothers as Emmanuel leads us downstairs.
“She was at breakfast when it happened,” he explains.
It’s all he manages to get out before the sitting room comes into view, and we see the chaos unfolding before us. A doctor and several nurses are working frantically around Bec, one checking her vitals while the other shines a light into her eyes. She looks halfway catatonic, and it sends a cascade of fear through me.
“We need to get her to a hospital,” I tell them.
Salomé glowers at me from her position above the sofa. “We have everything we need here. This is none of your business.”
I stare at Azrael in disbelief. He shifts, the muscles in his throat working as Salomé meets his gaze in challenge. She wants him to choose between us right now of all times. But it’s about Bec, and I can’t believe they’d even consider letting her stay here when she’s in this state.
“You don’t understand our ways,” Azrael says, barely sparing me a glance. “We have everything we need at our disposal and the finest doctors money can buy. All the medical equipment Bec requires is upstairs.”
