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As I reach for them, my eyes land on a light brown stuffed animal sitting on some sheets on the shelf above, its back to me.Aww, is this his from when he was a child?I melt a little. Being the nosy girl that I am, I decide to retrieve it, needing to see it for myself.
I grab it, feeling its rough fur, and turn it around and… “Oh my God.” Hands jumping to my chest, I involuntarily release the teddy bear.How is this possible?My brain stutters, unable to connect the dots. Time feels as though it’s standing still and I’m frozen within it.How could he have it? Who gave it to him?
“Babe, our bath is ready,” he calls out from the other room. “Did you find the towels?” My words refuse to take flight, I’m stuck in the past remembering the teddy I once knew well. I hear him come inside, but I’m unable to look away from the bear.
“Lilah? Lilah what’s wrong?” I turn to face him, my heartbeat racing frantically.
I try to swallow the twinge in my throat. but it won’t go away. “How—how do you have this?” I ask, pointing to the teddy.
“The bear? You’re upset I have a bear?”
“Who gave it to you?”
“Some kid when I was young. Why? Can you tell me what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I look at the teddy again, from the missing part of her ear to the face colored in green and pink, and then I look back at him. “That bear… It’s mine.”
Chapter 26
Lilah
“What?” He jerks his head back, standing at the doorway. “No, that’s not possible. I mean, the girl who gave it to me...her name wasn’t Lilah. I don’t under—”
“The girl, what was her name?” He takes tentative steps forward, scratching his forehead. It can’t be. It’s just not possible.
“Olivia. Her name was Olivia.”
“Tears pool in my eyes. “That’s—that’s my middle name.” I can’t believe this.
“Wait. What’s going on right now?” He moves to the bed and sits, running his hands through his hair. “Are you saying you’re her? You’re the girl from the hallway?”
“Did you live in a building on 86thSt. twenty years ago,” I ask, “the one with the yellow—”
“Awning,” we say in unison.
“Fuck. No way.” His eyes lock in on the bear then on me, mouth opening but no sound comes out.
“I never told you my first name because I hated it,” I explain. “No one had it and I didn’t like being different. Anytime I met anyone new, I gave them my middle name.”
I never thought I’d see this bear again nor the boy I gave it to. When I was young, I’d give my stuffed animals makeovers, if you could call it that. This particular bear suffered through my first attempt at a haircut, but I accidentally cut off her ear, and colored her face with marker calling it makeup. She was my favorite. I’d recognize her anywhere.
Then I met a broken, little boy sitting in front of his door while his father hurt his mom. We only lived a few doors down so I’d hear the screaming and the crying. We all did. It was usually during dinnertime, so as my mom prepared our meal, I’d sneak out to check if he was there. Sometimes he wasn’t, but when he was, I always joined him. I didn’t want him to be alone.
He was so mean to me at first, always pushing me away, calling me a brat, telling me I was annoying. But I just kept on coming. I was always a stubborn child with a big heart. I’d love the hell out of anyone until they’d give in. He didn’t stand a chance against me, especially when I brought snacks. But even when he gave in and stopped asking me to leave, he never opened up. He stayed silent most of the time and that was fine by me. I was happy to do most of the talking.
It’s hard to believe the boy I’ve wondered about for so many years was standing right in front of me. He gets off the bed, walking up to me. The back of his hand grazes against the curve of my jaw. “Is this real?” he asks, his voice cracking.
I nod, brushing away the tears from my eyes. “It’s real.”
“Do you remember what you said to me when you gave me that bear?”
I smile, recalling my words. “Wherever you are, you’ll always have a friend.”
He leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. “How could I have forgotten those eyes? From the moment we met, I wondered where I knew them from, and the answer was in my closet the whole damn time.”
“It was a long time ago.” I whisper. “We changed. I couldn’t figure it out either and I had a major crush on you back then.”
His head jerks back. “Crush, huh?”
