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I’m not a fan of being violated, and this feels like a violation. All I see are lenses pointed in my direction, photo after photo taken without my permission.
Without Rex’s permission.
“Babe.” Rex wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding me close to his chest. Our feet are moving, but I don’t see where we’re going. I hear rustling as Rex shuffles us up a few small stairs, keeping my face and ears away from the onslaught of cameras. “Ian, confiscate all of the cameras.”
More shuffling and a slam has me jumping out of my skin. Today has been too much and it’s only just begun. I try to remember how to breathe, how to be a human, but my chest constricts.
Cedar is still missing.
I don’t even know if I’m up for this shit with Rex, whatever it happens to be.
Where the fuck is my sister?
My nails dig into flesh, what part of Rex’s body, I’m not sure as I try to understand and get a grip on the wave I feel. More shuffling, more stepping. Another slam nearly sends me through the roof. I’m in sensory overload with all the lights and noises, not to mention the firm body plastered to my side and slicking my skin with sweat that doesn’t belong to me. The backs of my knees hit something velvety soft and I fall back, relishing in the smoothness against my palms.
“Babe,” Rex whispers, gently from somewhere in front of me, but my eyes are squeezed shut in an attempt to keep the rest of the world out. Reduce the senses. Stop the flashing lights from blinding me while I focus on my breathing.
“Anxiety,” I pause to focus on my inhale, pushing evenly out more than what I just took in. “It’ll pass.”
Breathe, one … two … three …
Exhale, one … two … three … four …
“Got it.” Rex’s warmth leaves me shivering from its absence. The light filtering through my eyelids goes dark, easing the tension in my head and relaxing the muscles in my face.
Softness envelops me. The same velvety furlike texture drapes around my shoulders, nuzzling into my cheeks.
I tuck the blanket around me, tight to my racing heart, as the bed dips behind me. I smell his scent before I feel his warmth wrap from my ass to my shoulders, his legs spread along either side of my thighs. Rex’s arms lay loose around my belly, holding me, the body heat from his chest warming my back.
My body slows as I allow myself to focus on how he feels safe against me, bringing me back to the moment quicker than any self-soothing technique I’ve learned.
More focused breathing has me fluttering open my eyes to take in the dark bedroom, the quiet that I break.
“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning my head back onto his shoulder.
“Nah, babe.” He breathes into my ear. “Thank you. For trusting me.”
Shit, he’s right. I did.
A small smile pulls at the corner of my lips. “Are you ready for twenty-one questions?” My voice is soft like the blanket I’m wrapped in, his chiseled jaw against my temple.
I want to know more about him. I want a distraction from the outside world while someone else tries to find my best friend and I subconsciously decide if I’m ok with this …
Relationship? What is this?
We slept together once. Hardly constitutes a relationship.
Shit. Overthinking it again.
Technically it was more than once.
“As long as you’re ready. I’m not in any hurry, babe.” His tenderness pulls at my heartstrings, and I allow myself to sink further back into his warmth.
“Why the lip ring?” Don’t ask me, it’s the first thing that came to my fricken mind.
He laughs, loud and perfect in my ear. “Jesus, I was not expecting that.” Rex’s bellow simmers down into a sigh of contentment that blows across my ear. “It’s one I wanted, had at one point but took out. I got it redone before the tour.” He tucks hair behind my ear and presses his scratchy jaw against my head. “What else you got, babe?”
I pet the fur of the blanket against my chest as I contemplate the things I want to know and ask. There’s so many, and yet all I want is to just be right here, without ruining it, in this moment. I sigh, partly from contentment, but also a little frustration with myself—and him.
