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“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, looking down at her feet and then over at Penny. Anywhere but meeting my gaze. “I just… I can’t.”
Pia wrings her hands in front of her nervously, then turns on her heel in a jerky movement, pushing the canvas door aside and disappearing inside the tent with Penny.
I’m left staring after her, wondering where I went wrong.
FOUR
Pia
I peekthrough the tent flap one last time, taking in Gavin. He’s still standing there, staring at the opening in the flap, but I’m off to the side and hidden behind Penny so he can’t see me.
He looks surprised that I said no and disappeared, maybe even a little disappointed, though I’m sure he could find someone else to take out on a date in a heartbeat. I hate the thought of Gavin with another woman, which is ridiculous, seeing as I just turned him down.
My whole being is urging me to go back out there and say yes, but I push that craziness back down, trying to tamper my lust. I’m lightheaded from crying and confused by the large, too-sweet, far too-sexy stranger with the captivating blue eyes.
What’s his endgame? Maybe he felt obligated to ask me out after I cried in his arms. That must be it. There’s no way someone like him would look twice at someone like me.
Not only is he a twenty on a scale of one to ten, but he’s several years older and clearly wealthy if his designer shoes, tight jeans, and sparkling watch say anything about him. We’d never work in the long run, and I’m in no position to be starting anything with anyone anyway.
I take one last look at Gavin in his jeans and black T-shirt before I turn Penny and head farther into the stable tent.
My mind is at war with my heart, the loneliness I’ve carried around for months battling with the rational part of me that’s trying to protect myself from more pain. I try convincing myself things would never work out between us. He oozes power and control, and I’m not in charge of anything in my life. We couldn’t be more opposite if we tried.
Besides, I’ve seen enough wealthy people visit us here at the circus to know what they think of us—good enough for entertainment, but us circus folks will never be their equals. Gavin doesn’t seem like that at all, but I can’t think about that. I need this to be simple. I need to be able to forget him.
We never would have been anything more than a one-night stand, and that’s not my style.
I’ve seen other people in the circus hooking up with the visitors. There are a few who have a new guy or girl every night. I never wanted to be like that. I don’t want a one-night stand or a fling. I want something real. Something that will last. I want a love like my parents had.
Stupid tears prick my eyes once more, but I wipe them away. I’ve already cried enough for one night. I’m just a hormonal mess after encountering someone like Gavin. That must be it. He’s riling me up and making me feel things I don’t know what to do with.
Which is why it’s a good thing I turned him down. Right? Right.
I lead Penny into her stall area and hook her to one of the poles. She sniffs at the empty hay bag and I laugh, focusing back on my sassy horse.
“Let me brush you out first. Then I’ll get you something to eat.”
She neighs, and I smile softly as I grab a curry brush and start to work it over Penny’s body.
People think it’s weird how much I talk to Penny, but I’ve always done it. She’s my best friend, the only friend that I have left. Besides, I could swear that she understands me most of the time.
“He was handsome. Don’t you think?” I ask quietly.
She snorts.
I smile, moving down her body more with the brush.
“He seemed nice too.”
That earns me another snort and a head nod, making me sigh.
“I know, I know. I said I was going to forget about him,” I mutter.
A few moments of silence pass between us. A very judgy silence, might I add. Penny definitely doesn’t approve of me turning Gavin down.
“Do you think I made a mistake by saying no?” I ask. “I mean, we just agreed that he was nice and handsome, and it’s been so long since I’ve talked with someone. Besides you,” I add.
She shifts on her feet as I move to her other side.
