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He’s already in his ringmaster outfit, and I hurry to finish my makeup. I’m already wearing my leotard for my routine, and I try not to wince as I stretch a bit. My body is sore in places I didn’t even know existed after everything Gavin did to me last night.
My body flushes, warming with the memories, and I bite my bottom lip as I try to get my body under control. His firm, owning grip as he sank into me over and over, his soft lips on every inch of my body, his ragged breath in my ear as he succumbed to his pleasure…
You’re about to go perform in front of people! You can’t be getting turned on before that!
I look down at my hardened nipples and wonder if people will just assume that it’s from the slight chill in the air today.
My name is called, and I grab Penny, leading her into the big tent. I paste a smile onto my face as I lead Penny into the center of the ring. I signal to her and she starts to trot around the edge of the circle.
I raise my hands in the air, posing on the little stand in the center of the ring as the crowd cheers. I scan the faces blankly, not paying too much attention to the crowd until I land on his face.
My eyes widen slightly as I see Gavin in the stands. His eyes are locked on me, and my heart falters in my chest at the hungry look that I see in his eyes.
Why is he still here?
I blink a few times, trying to focus, but I can’t seem to look away. Gavin’s gaze turns from ravenous to something more tender. Something close to love, as insane as that sounds. Blue eyes tear me apart, begging me to listen to him, to believe that he wants me for good.
The music changes, signaling the start of my act. Gavin gives me a small nod, releasing his hold on me so I can get through the next twenty minutes. The stern, determined look is still etched on his face, and I know we’ll be talking after the show.
Some part of me is swooning that he’s not giving up. He’s here, silently watching over me and protecting me, even when I’m giving him every reason to walk away.
I signal Penny to start cantering as I run down the circle and swing up onto her back. The crowd claps and I start my routine. I’ve done this twice a day for the last year, so I could do it in my sleep. My mind races as I picture Gavin watching me from the crowd.
Did I make a mistake leaving last night and turning him down this morning? It’s obvious he’s not going to give up on me that easily. Could we really make it work? Is he craving me the way I’m craving him?
I vault off of Penny, tucking my head in and doing a little flip before landing on my feet. Penny circles around me, and I can’t help but search for those deep blue eyes.
It takes less than a second to find my Gavin. He looks awestruck, his eyes roaming up and down my body as I do a few dance moves to the beat of the song. We never break eye contact, even when Penny comes up behind me, dipping low so I can do a cartwheel and then haul myself onto her back.
Should I trust him? Can I?
Yes,my mind screams at me. A rush of adrenaline courses through my body as I stand up on Penny’s back, opening my arms wide as we go around the circle. My eyes are drawn to Gavin’s, my heart stuttering in my chest when I see the mix of worry, lust, and adoration in his eyes. This man genuinely cares for me, maybe even loves me. Why am I fighting this so hard?
I know that we weren’t together long. I know there’s still so much I need to learn about him, but he’s right. There’s something here. Call it chemistry, fate, serendipity, or some other invisible connection, but I get it now. I didn’t allow myself to feel it before, but now it’s all I can see.
I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love at first sight, but I guess I was wrong.
Now how do I tell Gavin that?
NINE
Gavin
I knowPia saw me at the midday performance. I was hoping she would come see me after she was done, but she didn’t. That’s okay though. If she needs time to think or to realize I’m not going anywhere, then that’s fine. I can wait for her. I’ve been waiting my whole life to find a woman who makes me feel like Pia does. Now that I’ve found her, I’m not letting her get away.
The night performance is starting now, and I settle in my seat in the stands. I’m front and center. I want Pia to see me, to know that I’ll wait forever for her.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome Pia and Penny to the big tent!” the announcer says over the loudspeaker.
My heart takes off like a shot.
The crowd cheers as Pia and Penny come into the center of the ring, and I smile when Pia’s eyes come right to mine. She seems surprised to still find me here, and I give her a small nod, trying to tell her silently that I’m always going to be here for her.
She gives me the smallest smile, filling my chest up with hope. Maybe I won’t have to wait forever. Maybe, just maybe, she’s finally on board.
My girl tears her eyes away from me and smiles at the rest of the crowd as she goes into her routine. Penny starts to gallop around the outside of the ring, but I keep my gaze locked on Pia. Her focus shifts as she gets into the music. Even though she’s nailing every move, I can tell her heart isn’t in it. She’s just going through the motions.
Most of the other performers love to be in front of the crowd. You can see it, feel it in their energy. They thrive off of the crowd’s energy and cheers. They want the attention, but not Pia. She’s happiest when she’s alone with her horse. She doesn’t want the spotlight. She just wants a simple life, one filled with family and love, and I aim to give that to her.
