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Her jaw tenses and her nostrils flare. For a moment, I think she’s going to yell at me. Instead, she simply says, “Okay, good night.”
Gracie starts to close the door, but I press my palm against it, stopping the movement. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” I can hear the desperation in my voice, but I don’t care. Gracie has become vital to my existence, and I don’t know what I’d do without her.
“Fine, you’ll make it up to me, but your apology doesn’t make any of this better. You get that right? It doesn’t changeanything. I can’t keep playing second fiddle to your career.
“No, that’s not—”
“Deny it all you want, but you showed your true colors tonight.”
“Gracie, I’m—”
“No.”
“I just lost track of time,” I say exasperatedly. I know it’s a shit excuse, and it sounds hollow even to my ears. “I had to fix some things the new nurse messed up. It’s just growing pains. We’ll figure this out. Just give me another chance.”
“It’s not good enough, Ken. I refuse to have someone else in my life that makes me feel less than. I always felt inadequate around my father. I grew up thinking I’d never be good enough, and it took a lot of hard work to break out of that cycle. After this morning and tonight, I feel inadequate around you, too. I feel like I’ve taken a huge step backward for allowing myself to be treated this way.”
“What happened this morning?” I ask, confused. Her words are like sharp daggers, each one piercing my fucking soul until it’s numb.
“You left me alone and naked in your bed after I gave you my virginity,” she hisses. “And why? Not to tend to an emergency or even pick up breakfast. You left so that you could get caught up on paperwork. You don’t think that you should have stayed? That maybe I would be feeling vulnerable after opening myself up like that for the first time?”
“Shit, Gracie, I wasn’t thinking,” I choke out. How did I mess up this badly? Why didn’t I think about how she would feel? I swallow, my throat dry as I realize just how many ways I fucked up with my Tinker Bell.
“You were thinking, though. You were thinking about all the stuff you needed to get done at the office and made that a priority. Work was more important than waking up with me.” She wipes her eyes and sniffles before continuing. “I’ve been wondering what I did wrong all day, second-guessing myself, and trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong. But the problem here isn’t me. It’s you. You can’t stop working, you can’t let control go and if something isn’t perfectly to your standards, then you just can’t let it go. I can’t be with you and continue to deal with this.”
I clear my throat, trying to talk around the lump forming there. “I never thought you were anything less than perfect, Gracie,” I promise.
“It doesn’t matter!” she yells, a new wave of tears spilling down her cheeks. I hate that I pushed her to this point. My sweet pixie is hurt and lashing out, and it’s my fault. “You manage to find everyone else’s shortcomings. I’m not sticking around to wait for you to find mine.”
She slams the door in my face, leaving me standing there broken and wondering how the hell I’m ever going to be able to fix this.
ELEVEN
Gracie
“Why don’tyou go out to lunch, boss?” Poppy asks carefully. I look up from the bouquet, noticing it’s already two in the afternoon.
“I’m not hungry,” I mumble.
I haven’t been eating much this last week. Ever since I broke up with Ken, my appetite seems to have disappeared.
“Maybe some fresh air will do you good,” Poppy tries again. I know she’s just worried about me, and honestly, I’m worried about me, too. I wanted to stay mad at Ken, and I am. But I also miss him.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
I finish up the flower arrangement and grab my purse. I don’t really have anywhere to go and even though I’m not hungry, I still drive to The Virgin Street Diner.
Caroline is there behind the counter, doing inventory or something and I take a seat at the counter in front of her.
“Hey stranger. You look like crap,” she says as she grabs me a Coke.
“Thanks.”
“Are you hungry?” she asks but I shake my head, taking a sip of my drink.
Caroline frowns but doesn’t push.
“So, Ken and I broke up,” I say after a few minutes.
