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“Oh! Good point! What are you going to wear? Something casual?”
“I don’t know. I’m still going through my closet trying to find something.”
“How about that maxi dress? The deep red one? It’s casual but looks dressier.”
“Good idea,” I say as I start to dig through my closet trying to find the dress she’s talking about.
My hands shake and I have to remind myself to take a deep breath. I haven’t had much experience with guys, dating, or romance in general. At my age, I know it’s a bit of an anomaly to still be a virgin, but I’m not ashamed of it. That doesn’t mean I’m not anxious as hell at the idea of telling Ken. Will he think I’m silly? Will he laugh at me? Will he assume it’s because I’m undesirable?
“What about shoes?” I ask, trying to distract myself from the train wreck waiting to happen. Snagging the dress from the back of my closet, I toss it on the bed before going back for shoes.
“Remember those gladiator sandals?”
“Yeah.” I nod my head as I grab the shoes and throw them on the bed as well.
“What if this is a mistake?” I ask her as another wave of doubt hits me. I can’t keep anything from Caroline.
“It’s not,” she assures me. “You’re just having first date jitters. You two are so cute together and I just know it’s going to be perfect.”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. It just feels like tonight, this date, it’s really important. I want everything to be perfect, but a familiar thread of insecurity wraps around my lungs, squeezing them until it’s hard to breathe.
“Okay,” I say, letting out a rush of air. “I’ve got to go get dressed. He’s supposed to be here in twenty minutes.”
“Text me if you need anything and have fun! You’ll have to fill me in on all of the details tomorrow.”
“I will,” I promise with a smile as I hang up and hurry to get dressed.
I pull the dress over my head and zip up my sandals. I don’t wear a ton of makeup so I just put on a coat of mascara and some lip gloss and call it good.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I try not to pick out every single one of my flaws, but that’s easier said than done. Especially since I grew up with painful awareness of each one. My father never failed to mention my weight, how I’d be so pretty if I lost a few pounds or ate a salad every once in a while. I look down at my wide hips and then suck in my stomach. Maybe the stretchy material of the maxi dress wasn’t a good idea after all.
My hair is a little on the dry side, and the ends could use a trim. I have a little freckle on the right side of my chin that my dad always hated. I briefly consider covering it up with concealer, but then I remember who I am and why I moved out here to Cherry Falls in the first place.
“You’re beautiful just the way you are,” I tell myself, combing my fingers through my long black hair. “Your worth isn’t based on your weight. You have so much to offer the world.”
The mantras may sound lame to some, but they’ve been really helpful for me as I strip away the negativity and shame instilled in me by my father.
I smile at myself in the mirror, a real smile this time, and square my shoulders.I’ve got this.
I’m just making sure that I have everything in my purse when the doorbell rings. My heart starts to race again, and I repeat my mantras in my head to calm my nerves.
“Hey,” I say as I open the door.
Wow. Ken always looks good in his slacks and crisp white shirts, but he’s dressed a little more casually tonight. With dark-gray chinos and a light-blue button-up with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, Ken is absolutely mouthwatering. His muscles pull against the fabric, outlining the dips and curves of his biceps and broad chest. I want to curl up in his arms and bury my face against his neck, soaking up his warmth and minty scent.
“Gracie, you look beautiful,” he says as his eyes run up and down my body. My skin prickles with awareness, and Ken’s dark eyes shine as he drags them up to meet my gaze.
“Thanks,” I breathe out with a smile as I pull the door closed behind me and lock it.
“I thought we could go over to the Fireside Grill and Bar for dinner. Is that alright with you?”
“Sure, I haven’t been there before.”
“Really?” he asks, surprised.
“Yeah, I usually go to the diner or just cook at home.”
He opens the car door for me and I slide in. He asks me about The Flower Patch and where I learned to garden as we drive the short distance to the restaurant. When we arrive, Ken helps me out of the car and guides me into the restaurant with a hand at the small of my back.
