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“You’re not?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I’m fucking pissed at Dad.”
I swallow hard, as I’m not sure she’d say that if she knew how I begged him to take my virginity.
“He’s fifty years old. He should know better.” She shakes. “You’re only twenty-one, Ella. You have your life ahead of you. What are you thinking?”
I don’t know how to explain it to Mia. I’ve had this impossible-to-ignore connection with her dad since I set eyes on him. “It’s hard to explain. I’ve never felt so drawn to a man before.”
Mia downs the last of her coffee. “It doesn’t make it right.” She stands. “I need to use the restroom.”
I watch as she walks away; so much for keeping our relationship a secret. Mia put two and two together far too easily.
I sigh. It’s not like I’m scared of the judgment. I’ve never cared what others think about me, but I’m not sure what will come from our relationship.
Remy doesn’t believe in love, and something tells me I won’t change his mind. And I want kids at some point, something I’m sure he won’t want at his age. He’s done the whole kid thing five times. I know pursuing him will hurt me, but I can’t stop. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment.
He’s like a drug, and I’m addicted. Mia is right. Our relationship isn’t right in society’s eyes, but nothing else in my life has ever felt this good or real. He makes me feel safe and protected. I know it’s not something most people would understand, but I’ve craved stability for so long, and despite what Remy does for a living and the danger surrounding him, he gives it to me.
Mia returns and sinks into her seat, eyes narrowing. “What’s the end game for you two?”
It’s a good question. One I can’t answer.
“Honestly, I have no idea. We haven’t talked about—”
“Of course you haven’t. Typical Dad. He isn’t the kind of man you deserve, Ella. Even if he’s my dad, he’s a fucking asshole.”
I’m surprised to hear that from his daughter.
“He’s always been a womanizer. Where do you think Luca and Leo get it from?” Her jaw clenches. “Massimo was as bad until he met Paisley.”
I shake my head. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Always.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. “That’s all I want.”
“I think I love him.”
Mia’s eyes soften to pitiful. “Oh no.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think you realize the monster you’ve fallen for. Dad doesn’t love. He’s toxic and always has been.” She clears her throat. “I mean, he married your mom. He didn’t love her.”
“No, but my mom didn’t love him either. She loved money. That’s all she ever loved.” It was a marriage of convenience for her.
Mia smiles sadly. “All I’m saying is to be careful and not give your love so freely. I’m not sure my dad can reciprocate.”
“Why is he so closed off?” I ask.
Mia’s brow furrows. “I think it stems back to his childhood. My grandparents never showed him any love before they died.”
“And he showed you love?”
Her expression turns wistful. “In some ways, but Dad’s always been quite detached. My brothers and sisters were my source of love.”
“Does he have any siblings?” I ask, realizing I hardly know anything about him.
“Yes, he has a sister. She lives in San Diego. They were never close.”
