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He pulls his mouth away from me as he says it, and suddenly he’s leaning over me, his fingers nimbly undoing the buttons at the front of his pants as he frees his cock. He’s hard and thick, filling his own palm as he strokes his hand over the throbbing length, and suddenly I feel the hot, swollen head pushed against my clit.
“This is teasing,” he murmurs, and leans down to kiss me again.
I gasp as he rubs himself against me, the slick mixture of his pre-cum and my arousal mingling together to create a delicious, hot friction between the head of his cock and my clit, and I know I’m going to come. Every time I start to twitch and shudder, he pulls away, dragging the head of his cock lower to circle my entrance before sliding up again, until I can feel how swollen and sensitive my clit is, aching to come. I buck helplessly under him, glaring up at his satisfied expression.
“Please,” I whisper, and he laughs, low and lustful, kissing me again.
“The Bratva princess, begging her bodyguard to make her come.”
“Adrik, I swear—”
He laughs again at that, but when he pushes the swollen head of his cock against me again, more of his slick pre-cum dripping onto my flesh, he doesn’t pull away—and I feel my body tighten, the orgasm unfurling somewhere deep within me before my nails dig into his shoulders and my head tips back on a wordless cry, his body pressed against mine as he kisses me hard. I arch against him, grinding out my orgasm against the slick length of his cock.
I’m still coming when I feel him push inside of me, his hands on my waist, my hips, as his mouth slants over mine. I gasp, tightening around him, and I feel his groan against my lips as he lifts me up, turning me on the bed so that he’s atop me, my head against the pillows.
I want him undressed, skin against skin. I strip away his shirt as he thrusts into me, fingers raking over all that broad, bare muscle, pushing his pants down his hips so I can enjoy as much of him as I can pressed against me, skin slick with sweat. It was cold in here before, but now it’s all heat—Adrik and me, and I feel as if I can’t get enough of it.
“Come for me one more time,” he breathes in my ear. “I’m so close—one more, before I have to pull out.”
I want to tell him not to. I want to come while he fills me, to feel the hot rush of it, feel him throbbing inside of me, as deeply as he can go while we come together. But I know better. Even in the rush of lust, I know that it would be a bad idea to let him finish inside of me.
We should be using protection. The fact that we aren’t is bad enough.
He thrusts inside of me once more, hard, and just the knowledge that he’s holding back his own orgasm to let me come again is enough to send me over the edge. I wrap myself around him, legs tangled with his and fingers clinging to his shoulders as I clench and shudder around him. I hear the soul-tearing groan that comes out of his mouth as he pulls free of me, his hand jerking over his slick length as he aims it at my stomach and spills a rush of pearlescent fluid over my skin.
I’m still breathing hard as he collapses next to me, his fatigues around his thighs, his hand still loosely wrapped around his cock.
I don’t want to tell him to leave. But I see the clock ticking away next to the bed, and I know that if he doesn’t go soon, I’ll be late getting ready for dinner. And if Lilliana or Nikolai were, for some reason, to come up and check on me and find me here—
“I have to get ready.” I turn and look at him regretfully. “Nikolai is coming over—”
“Shit.” He sits up, his fair skin still flushed. “I should go.”
I nod, swallowing hard. I never know what to do after this. The lust is the easy part. Wanting him is easy. Knowing what to do with the feelings afterward is so much harder.
Especially when I don’t know what kind of future we can have.
“I’m sorry.” I bite my lower lip, feeling my heart ache in my chest. “I know this is complicated—”
“It’s alright,kotenok.” He kisses my forehead, brushing my now-tangled hair away from my face. “I’ll go.”
I watch him gather his clothes, and I would enjoy the sight of him buttoning up his pants and pulling his shirt back on, the flex of his muscles beneath the fabric, more if I didn’t feel such a tangle of confusion.
Am I falling in love with him?
It feels like it, sometimes. The things he says to me, the way he makes my heart race and my stomach knot, the way I feel cared for and safe when he’s close—so much of it feels like the beginnings of love. And yet—
I’ve never been free to choose who I love. I don’t know if that’s changed.
My brother is thepakhannow. He doesn’t believe in all of the old ways, but some of them are harder to shake than others. The value that I could have as a means to strengthen the now-weakened Bratva he’s taken over is one of them.
When Adrik is gone, I get up and shower. I go to the closet after, my hair blow-dried in a soft, straight fall down my shoulders, and look through the clothes hanging there. There’s no real need to dress up for dinner, but our father always insisted on it, and it’s one of the traditions that Nikolai has kept for the family dinners we have now. I glance over at the rumpled bed—with Adrik’s sweat and cologne washed off of me, it’s the only sign left that he was ever here.
How exactly do you think this is going to end?I ask myself as I take a pair of slim black slacks and a cream-colored cashmere sweater out of the closet.Not with a happily-ever-after for you and Adrik, most likely.
Nikolai himself has seen the trials that come with an arranged marriage, how close he came to a union of endless contention or, at best, a tentative truce. But that doesn’t mean that he’ll be convinced that I should be allowed to make my own marriage—least of all with my bodyguard. At best, I might hope to be allowed some input into my own fate.
Sighing, I sit down at my vanity once again—twenty minutes until Nikolai and Lilliana arrive for dinner. Adrik stayed longer than he should have—but even now, I have a hard time wishing it had been anything else.
