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But then why didn’t he try to get out of it?
The only hope I can cling to is that Adrikdidtry to beg off the assignment, and Nikolai insisted. My brother isn’t a man whom many would dare to make ask for something twice, and Adrik wouldn’t have continued protesting if Nikolai told him again.
I tell myself that’s the most likely reason, not anything else. But I can’t shake my unease at the memory of that angry look on Adrik’s face.
What should he have looked like, then? After seeing you—
My face flushes at the memory, of me astride Theo’s lap, his cock buried inside of me and my dress pushed up so that anyone walking by could have almost seen up it, and would havecertainlyknown what we were doing. It was the closest thing to public sex that I’ve ever done or hopefully ever will do—and the worst part about it is that Ilikedit.
I more than liked it. I got off on it, on the idea of a flight attendant or one of the security hearing us, walking out, and seeing me bouncing on Theo’s cock while he gripped my hips, thrusting his hard—
My flush deepens, and I’m glad we’re outside, because I can blame it on the cold if Theo notices.He’s a bad man,I try to remind myself.As far as you know, anyway. Just because he’s been kind to you—
But it’s more than that. He’s been more than kind. He’s been careful with me, quick to make sure that I actually want the things we’ve done together, even going so far as to say he would stop if I asked him to. I don’t know why I asked him about that, why I even entertained the idea—I didn’t expect him to say yes. I expected him to say that he couldn’t stop, that he wouldn’t be able to, that I was his, his wife, and that he would fuck me when and where he pleased.
But that doesn’t seem to be what turns Theo on. And what does—
Another shiver goes through me, something else I’m glad I can blame on the cold.According to Nikolai, he’s partially responsible for your mother’s death,I remind myself.He might have even been her lover.That should make me want nothing to do with him, I know—but I find it less and less believable with every moment I spend with him.What does that make me?I wonder as Theo guides me back into the house, my throat tightening.Shouldn’t I believe my family—my mother, mybrother, over anyone else, especially a man I barely know?But nothing about him makes me think he had anything to do with that. He doesn’t behave like a man who would have been party to destroying a woman’s life, and he seems to respect the idea of marriage too much to cuckold another man and be a part of an affair. The two men—the one who has been described to me and the one I’ve spent days with now, don’t seem to be the same person at all.
Even if he had nothing to do with that, he’s a greedy, powerful man trying to ruin my family.But I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that, too. He did have plans to encroach on my family’s territory, that’s true. If I hadn’t agreed to marry him, I’m not sure what would have happened. That should upset me more—but wouldn’t my brother do the same if he saw the opportunity? Wouldn’t he take what another man had, regardless of the bloodshed, if it benefited him?
I don’t like to think about it—but I’ve never had to before. And I can’t say that he wouldn’t.
Theo is getting to me,I realize as he leads me upstairs to show me the bedrooms. From the moment he slipped that ring onto my finger, that family heirloom that I still feel should never have belonged to me, he’s been wearing away at my defenses with a patience and gentleness that doesn’t fit the kind of man I’ve been told he is. All of this—the talk of his family’s land and ancestral home and wanting to raise a family here, howmuchhe wants all of it, is getting under my skin, making me feel as if the man I’ve married is one that I could actuallywantto be married to.
It’s not just that, either. It’s how muchheclearly wants me, and not in the way that I had thought he would. I had expected demands, lust, for him to fuck me however and whenever he pleased—but Theo is much more generous in bed than I expected. Remembering his words from earlier makes me flush all over again—I need to make you come so I can be inside of you.
He hadn’t meant literally—I’d been embarrassingly wet, between my own arousal and him coming inside of me twice earlier—he’d meant thatheneeded to make me come, so he could feel as if it were alright to fuck me. He needed to know I was enjoying it, too. It’s a far cry from how I’ve always been taught men in this world are.
I like fucking him.I can’t pretend that I don’t. We walk into the master suite—a huge, gorgeous room decorated the way I imagine an old-world manor house would be, with dark walnut floors and a thick fur rug next to it, a fireplace much like the one at the home in Chicago, and a huge four-poster bed made up with what looks like some of the softest bedding and pillows I’ve ever seen—and the first thing I think is that Theo is going to fuck me in that bed, and the heat that washes through me is startling.
I think I might likehim.
That’s so much worse. The conflict in me is growing, and I can’t imagine it’s going to get better before it’s over, not unless this is all some elaborate scheme that Theo is using to manipulate me into letting my guard down, to make me feel comfortable before he turns on me. It’s not out of the realm of possibility—yet every time I consider it, it seems impossible with what he’s shown me of himself. He has, from the moment we met, seemed genuine.
Men in this world lie, Marika. It’s what they do.
I yawn, another jaw-cracking one, and Theo looks at me with a hint of amusement in his face. “You’re not going to make it to afternoon, are you?” he asks, and I shake my head. It’s not even quite noon here yet—which means it’s barely six a.m. in Chicago. I wouldn’t even be awake yet there, and here I am, feeling as if I’m going to fall asleep on my feet.
“You’re not boring me, I promise,” I tell him with a small smile, thinking in some other part of my head how like a normal married conversation this is, how easy it is to talk to him. How easily I can fall into a rhythm with him. “I just—I need a nap.”
“Alright. You can work on the jet lag tomorrow.” He leans in and gives me a light kiss on the lips. “I plan to take you with me into Dublin—I have a meeting with the Kings, and I thought you could shop and explore the city while I’m busy with that. After, we can have dinner and spend the evening together.”
A date with my husband.It sounds so…normal. This is nothing like what I expected, to be locked away in a mansion with a demanding jailor for a husband who would claim mastery of me and control my every move and whim. This is a husband who has business meetings and sends me off with his credit card, who joins me for dinner afterward and enjoys my company. Who will bring me home after, to this gorgeous house that he wants to fill with our children, and make love to me in the bed inches away—
What am I thinking?In an instant, I can imagine a future without Nikolai’s plan, without the plot I’ve been dragged into…and apparently, without Adrik.
The guilt is crushing. I entered this marriage for a reason, and I’m already losing sight of it. Not to mention—
There’s no future for this, no matter what. Our marriage was started on a lie—about my virginity, about the possibility of children, when there are a few packs of pills hidden away deep in my suitcase that will make very sure that never happens—no successful marriage could ever go on like that. Theo and I don’t work forever, because nothing he believes about me is true.
If this goes on for long enough, he will find out. There’s no way around that.
“Take your nap.” He gives me another quick kiss, clearly not drawing it out because the bed isright there, and he’s all too likely to fall into it. “I’m going to see what we have here for dinner.”
“You can cook?” I look at him curiously, remembering what he’d said about the lack of staff. “Because I certainly can’t.”
Theo smirks, kissing me once more, his hands resting on my waist. I feel him take a step closer, and I have the distinct impression that he’s considering whether or not to join me in bed. “I can, actually.” He reaches up, smoothing a little of my hair away from my face. “And I’m going to leave you here, before I keep you from taking that nap.”
