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I blink at him, realizing what he’s suggesting.He really is different from what I possibly could have expected,I think, looking at the smile on his face. I can’t imagine any of the men I’ve known—not my father or brother or anyone else—going to a pub and having a beer around people they would likely consider beneath them. Even if my brother might, my father never would have. A place like this, lively and a little raucous, with music starting up and people dancing—none of it is something they would have been a part of. Like Theo said—it’s not something they could be seen doing, not without damaging their reputation in Chicago.
“Maybe after we eat,” he says with a wink, and my heart flutters in my chest again.
I want this,I think, with a growing ache that spreads through me.And I don’t know what to do.I want to enjoy this dinner with Theo, to drink another cider and get a little bit of a buzz, to go out there and dance with him.I could refuse.
I’ve been playing the game I was told to play—to make Theo want me and believe that I’m happy in this marriage so he’ll let down his guard around me—but it’s no longer a game to me. And all I can think of to do is to pull away from him, to make him believe that I don’t want or care about him, so that he won’t see what’s really happening.
But when we’ve finished our food and another round of drinks, the cider leaving a soft, blurred fuzziness around my edges, Theo reaches for my hand, and I don’t tell him no.
“Do you like dancing?” he asks as he leads me out to the floor, the lively music ringing in my ears, and I nod. It’s the truth—I do. I love dancing at weddings, even dancing in my room alone, where there’s no one to see. But I’ve never danced like this, out in public at a pub, with people all around me simply out having a good time for the night.
There’s a freedom to it that I hadn’t expected. I see a few older couples around us, out for their night on the town, younger ones who look as if they’re on a first or second date.We’re one of those,I realize dimly, as Theo’s hand settles on my waist, his fingers intertwined with mine. Theo and I are married, but our wedding reception aside, this is basically our second date. It’s such a strange thing to realize, and I look up at him, trying to imagine what it would be like if we were ordinary people. If I were just out for a night with him, having dinner and drinks, the kind of thing that I’ve never been allowed to expect.
I would like him. I would want to see him again. And as for anything else…
I feel another flush of heat, thinking of the lingerie I bought, of putting it on for him. He pulls me closer, the warmth of his body sinking into mine, and as I look up into his now familiar green eyes, I know what I’m feeling.
It terrifies me.
We dance through that song, and another, and another, the last a fast-paced tune that has us all spinning in circles from one dance partner to another, until Theo and I end up back with each other, breathless and laughing in each other’s arms. I can feel the alcohol humming through my blood, everything else momentarily forgotten as he pulls me closer and bends to kiss me.
“Let’s go home,” he murmurs, and I can’t think of any argument with it. Not in that moment.
His hand rests on my thigh as the driver takes us home, the city at night giving way to the rolling green hills beyond it, his fingers slipping a little under the hem of my dress to stroke my bare skin lightly until I can feel a slow-burning heat spreading through me, a need for him that I know will spill over as soon as we’re upstairs, if not before.
“I have something for you,” I whisper against his mouth as he kisses me once we’re inside, my shopping bags at my feet in the foyer as his hands slide up my hips. “If you can be patient, you’ll see it once we’re upstairs.”
“I have heard patience is a virtue.” He nips lightly at my lower lip, groaning as his hand squeezes my ass, but he lets go of me. “Upstairs, then.”
This is only making it all harder.I have that single, dim thought as we go up, but somewhere in the haze of the night, it’s started to feel less important that I put up those walls rightnow.One more night won’t make a difference, I tell myself as we walk up to the bedroom, looking at my husband’s lean body and his handsome face as we step inside.It’s not like you could stop sleeping with him altogether, I remind myself as I go into the bathroom and slip out of my clothes and jewelry and into the blue silk nightgown, fluffing my hair out around my shoulders as I look at myself in the mirror.
What Icoulddo is be less willing, less enthusiastic about it all. I could make Theo believe that this is all just me doing my duty, what it wassupposedto be, before I discovered that my husband is, after all, a man who I might have even chosen on my own if I had ever been given a real choice.
I see him standing near the bed when I walk out, and when he turns and sees me, the look of absolute desire on his face makes my mouth go dry.
“God, Marika.” His gaze rakes over me, taking in the silk that stops at the tops of my thighs, the lace brushing against my skin. The air in the room is cool, and I can feel my nipples pressing against the silk, the sensation turning me on as I look at my husband. “You are a work of art.”
Theo crosses the room to me quickly, stopping just shy of me as his eyes slide over me again, as if he can’t get enough. “Tell me there’s nothing under it,” he murmurs huskily, as he reaches to strip off his sweater, revealing the taut body beneath that sends desire rippling through me all over again.
“There’s nothing under it,” I whisper, my voice hushed in the quiet of the bedroom as he strips off his pants, standing there naked in front of me. His cock is hard already, stiff against the ridged expanse of his stomach, and before I can say another word, Theo drops to his knees in front of me, his hands sliding up the outside of my thighs as he looks up at me hungrily.
It’s not just the fact that I’ve had more than I’m used to drinking tonight that sends a flood of heat through me, my entire body tightening as he slowly inches the silk up my legs, like he’s unwrapping a present on Christmas morning. It’s the way he looks at me—and the sight of my gorgeous husband, kneeling naked as he leans in to kiss each inch of skin he reveals as he pushes up the nightgown.
“Theo, we could get in bed—” I whisper, and he shakes his head, trailing more kisses up my skin, closer to where I’m already wet and aching for him.
“I want to worship you here, like this,mo gra,” he murmurs, his lips reaching the top of my inner thigh. “The way you deserve.Mo bhean álainn.”
I swallow hard, a whimper escaping as his warm breath grazes against my outer folds. “What does that mean?” I whisper hoarsely, and I feel his lips curve in a smile as he kisses the top of my other thigh, so very close to where I’m longing for his touch.
“My beautiful wife,” he murmurs, and then his hands press against my hips, holding the silk out of the way as he parts my folds with his tongue.
The first caress of it over my clit nearly buckles my knees. He groans as he tastes me, swirling his tongue exactly where I need it the most as he strokes it against my throbbing flesh, his lips pressed tightly against me. I can feel myself trembling as he licks me in slow, long strokes. My fingers trail through his hair, gripping it against his scalp without meaning to as he sucks at my clit, fluttering his tongue as I cry out and nearly lose my balance; my knees feel so weak.
“Theo!” I gasp, hips arching into his mouth, and he bunches my nightgown in his hand, one arm wrapping around my waist as the other pulls my leg over his shoulder, doing his best to steady me as he keeps licking and sucking at my clit, sending wave after wave of throbbing sensation through me. It feels so fucking good, and I know I’m going to come, that I won’t be able to stop it, even if it sends me collapsing to the floor. My hand is hard against the back of his head, holding his mouth to my grinding hips, my other hand clutching uselessly at his shoulder as I cry out his name again, and my orgasm unravels through me, my voice rising in a shriek of pleasure as I come hard on his tongue.
He groans, his hands gripping me hard as he keeps licking, lips and tongue moving against me, until he suddenly stands, lifting me up as he carries my still-shaking body to the bed and follows me onto it immediately, his hand around his cock as he stretches over me.
“Fuck—” he groans as he pushes into me, my body still clenching and fluttering around him, and he slides his hands over my silk-covered hips and waist, his cock entering me in slow inches as he leans down to claim a kiss. “God, I could eat you all night—but I needed to be inside of you.”
