Page 85 of Dangerous Vows


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I nod, and Finn throws me a bulletproof vest. “No telling what he’s got backing him up. Put that on.”

“Do we normally have these?” I eye it, and Finn shrugs.

“I might have arranged for a few from the local cops. For the more dangerous missions, you know?” He grins. “Can’t have you getting shot and leaving all this to me.”

“Are you wearing one?” I glance sideways at him, and he chuckles.

“Hell no. That takes all the fun out of it.” He motions to Nikolai. “I’m guessing we don’t give him one, either?”

For a brief moment, Finn’s joking erases a little of the heaviness surrounding me, letting me feel as if I can breathe for just a second. It’s why he’s doing it, and I know that.

He’s a good enforcer, a good right-hand man. But he’s also a good friend.

“Hell no,” I tell him with a wink, and then I head back to my own vehicle.

Finn is in the lead car with the men he trusts most to have his back, the ones closest to him that he relies on when he has a choice of backup. I follow behind him, Nikolai in the car with me despite my inner feelings about it, and the other cars trailing. As we leave the mansion, my chest is tight, my thoughts swirling as I try to focus on what’s ahead of us.

I can’t think about anything other than Marika—about getting her back, but also about what we had, and what has been lost. I regret how I handled it from start to finish, from the moment Finn told me about Adrik, and I felt my temper spiral out of control. If I could go back—

But I can’t. There’s no going back. I’ve lost Marika’s love—or the chance of ever having it, anyway—and there’s nothing I can do to fix that.

What I can still do is protect her. Save her. And once I get her out of there and out of Adrik’s hands—once I make sure that he’ll never touch her again—

“I’ll send her home with you once she’s out of there,” I tell Nikolai quietly, my hands clenching around the steering wheel. “I’ll annul the marriage, and I’ll stay out of Vasliev territory. The truce will hold regardless, and I will make sure the other Kings hold to it.” I take a deep, slow breath. “I’ve done enough harm to your family without meaning to.”

Nikolai says nothing. But out of the corner of my eye, I see him nod in acceptance.

There’s relief in knowing that, at least.

Even if the future won’t be what I hoped for.

Marika

Iwake to cold, damp darkness. I’m not sure how long I was out for, only that when Adrik was finished with my mouth, he left me there, covered in the sticky evidence of what he’d done to me, telling me he’d be back when he was ready for more.

Iwon’t let him inside of me again.The thought beats heavily in my head, even as I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to make that happen. I’m chained to a wall, with very little recourse for anything. There are no weapons that I can reach or use, nothing that I can defend myself with. I’d considered biting him earlier, when he’d pushed himself into my mouth, but that had seemed more likely to end in pointless pain than anything else. It wouldn’t get me free, but it would give him another excuse to hurt me more.

So, instead, I’d done a purposely bad job. I hadn’t tried to please him—even tried to make it clumsy and unpleasant, even as he slapped my face and yanked my hair and told me that I know how to suck a cock better than that—which is true, of course, but I have no intention of letting Adrik enjoy those skillseveragain.

In the end, it hadn’t mattered. Abusing me, having power over me after what’s been done to him, was enough to get him off. I turn my head, feeling the stiffness in my neck as I wipe my cheek and mouth against my shirt, wanting as much of him off of me as I can. Better the ruined shirt than the taste of him still on my lips.

No one is coming for you.

I know that’s not true. I knew it wasn’t true when he said it, and yet I still don’t feel very much hope. Adrik seemed very sure that they wouldn’t look here, that they wouldn’t believe that he would bring me somewhere so close to home, a place that Nikolai had used before. I don’t want to think that’s true—but as much as I know Nikolai and Theo will be looking for me when they realize what’s happened, I feel like a needle in a haystack right now.

I have no idea what kind of resources they have at their disposal to find me. That’s not the kind of thing I was ever told, not information I have, and it makes me angry now—angry that so much of the world I’m forced to live in is kept from me because I’m a daughter and not a son, that so much of my life is decided for me, that choices have been forced on me over and over that have ruined my chances at happiness again and again.

It doesn’t feel fair that because I was born a daughter, I’m expected to bend to the whims of everyone else around me. That I’m subjected to abuse and kept on a short leash, and told to be grateful because I’m afforded luxury as a result of it.

I think I’d rather be on my own struggling and allowed to make my own choices.

I sit there for a long time, my head aching, eyes burning with tears that I’m too tired to cry any longer. The stress has kept me from being hungry, which is a small blessing, but I’m still thirsty, my mouth parched and dry.

I’m not holding out any hope that Adrik will bring me water, though—or anything else I might need.

The basement door swings open again after a while, letting in a sliver of sunlight and fresh air, and I suck in a breath as it wafts through the basement before the door closes heavily again. I hear Adrik’s heavy, booted footfalls before he yanks the chain attached to the lightbulb, and that glaring light presses uncomfortably against my eyes again.

“Here.” He holds a cup up to my lips, and it takes me a moment to realize he’s actually brought me water.

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