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Of course he’d get the salient point right away. That was the blessing and curse of him. “Killed in the line of duty.” Somehow my voice didn’t wobble. “My aunt who lives in Kensington Square lost him years ago. She never remarried. Doubt she will. But she adopted a cop.” I let out a weak laugh. “Well, symbolically adopted. Jimmy has his own family but lived in the neighborhood. Now he’s joining the Crescent Cove force.”
“Not far from here.”
“Nope, just a town over so I’ve heard.”
Jed nodded. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Me too. He was a good guy.” I cleared my throat. “I’m glad you’re not a cop anymore.” I rushed ahead as he shifted, obviously preparing to speak. “I’m sorry if that makes me a heartless bitch, or stupid, or any other adjective you want to slap on there. But I’m glad you’re not risking your life every day, even if I won’t get to see you live it.”
I hadn’t meant to say the last part. Some self-preservation instinct kicking in, maybe. If I didn’t act like tonight had been life-changing for me, he wouldn’t be able to hurt me.
Yeah, right.
He started to say something, then he cupped my head and pulled me down to his chest. “You’re tired. You should get some rest.”
Yes, my eyelids were heavy, and I’d yawned more than once. That wasn’t what this was about. He didn’t want to have this discussion with me. Allowing me to sleep in his bed as if I truly mattered to him was preferable to having an awkward conversation.
I understood his thought process. Couldn’t stand it, but I understood it.
Arguing about our reality was a waste of time. Tomorrow, I’d go back to Brooklyn. I’d ditched my bodyguards tonight so there would be hell to pay.
My parents had probably left a dozen messages already, demanding I come visit them in Long Island. They’d talk some sense into me, or at least wear me down until I didn’t have any strength left to fight.
The memory of this night would be all I’d have to remind me of the big, wide world outside my golden doors.
I let him tuck me away as so many others had before—and would do again. And I slept.
TEN
JED
I wokeup to a fire in my wrist and a lead weight on my chest. Of the two, the fire bothered me the least.
A tangle of blond hair clung to my mouth. I blew it out as carefully as possible, not wanting to wake my sleeping beauty if I could help it. She didn’t stir. She was snoring softly and had her fist pressed to her chin like a kid. I nearly smiled at the picture she made until reality slammed home in the form of a serious ache in my forearm.
A glance back at the bedframe made me stifle a sigh. I was still cuffed.
Add occurrences likethisto the long list of reasons why I preferred to take the dominant role. I would never leave a submissive tied up all night in such an uncomfortable position.
Not that Peyton knew any better. This had been her maiden voyage when it came to this type of scene. Now that she’d been initiated, she could go off and find another man to—
“Like hell,” I muttered, breaking the stillness.
She still didn’t wake.
I looked at the alarm clock. Just past ten a.m. Sunlight streamed through the window, casting the dancing dust motes in a shimmering glow. I’d forgotten to pull the blackout curtains closed before retiring last night. With a career like mine, late nights were a necessity. I’d written into the wee hours many times when a deadline loomed too close.
“I’m glad you’re not a cop anymore. I’m sorry if that makes me a heartless bitch, or stupid, or any other adjective you want to slap on there. But I’m glad you’re not risking your life every day, even if I won’t get to see you live it.”
The last part of what she’d said had kept me up for hours. She was honest. Laid things right on the line. I had to respect her for that forthrightness, even if it made me want to punch a wall. But it wasn’t as if there could be any real future for the pop princess and the cop.Formercop.
That was like a romance novel title gone wrong right there.
You could be her bodyguard. That would give you a reason to torture yourself with the sight of her daily. Even after she moved on to the new flavor of the moment, you could look at her and remember.
There was a maudlin idea. Besides, I’d gotten out of the security business entirely.
I liked my new career. Hell, who was I kidding? Writing had become everything to me. I needed it like I’d needed those long walks to clear my head in the days after the shooting, when the investigation had kicked into high gear.
