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Defeated, I sank down on the nearby curb, letting the cold from the concrete seep through my stupidly expensive dress. I was hot all over, partly from the adrenaline from the chase and partly from being kissed by a real man with a hard as hell body and no small amount of disgust in my direction.
Well-earned, because he’d pegged me accurately within a few moments. Even without knowing all the particulars, my behavior was a red flag. I might have escaped from my fortress tonight to taste freedom, but I was going to regret it all tomorrow.
I already was.
“They trusted me with the car. It wasn’t its fault I curbed it and popped the tire. Hopefully, I didn’t mess up the other tire too badly.” Peering at the toes of my boots in the darkness, I sighed. “I’ll pay whatever I owe for damages. I shouldn’t have taken such a risk. It was inexcusably irresponsible.”
God, it had felt so good. For those few moments, I’d felt like I was flying down the streets. I’d never driven that fast in my life. The music had been playing—not mine, never mine—and the spring night air had tossed my hair into a delightful frenzy. Nothing about me was photo shoot-ready right now. I was a mess from head to toe, and I’d never felt more alive.
Miserable at this very second, true, but alive.
“You won’t hear me arguing with you.” He ran his thumb along the thin chain around his neck. I’d noticed that chain and its small Saint Michael medal right away. My uncle Griff, a cop, used to wear the same medal. Supposedly, it offered protection to the wearer.
Too bad it hadn’t helped Uncle Griff.
Right or wrongly, I couldn’t help gravitating to this stranger because of that small sign. It seemed like a good omen. This man felt safe to me, even as he offered me an intoxicating hint of danger. Contradictory impulses aside, I couldn’t deny the pull toward him.
Didn’t want to.
“You could have seriously injured someone or yourself,” he continued when I remained silent.
What could I say? That I’d done a full diva trip and should be embarrassed? I already knew that. Tomorrow I’d hide in bed all day and try to convince myself one more time that not making the kind of music I wanted to make was no big deal.
So what if I thought I’d die if I had to sing one more slickly produced song about falling in love for the first time? That was my job. I was no better than the thousands of people who went to work every day at jobs they hated, and most of them weren’t compensated as handsomely as I was. I had absolutely no right to bitch, even in my own head.
“You’re sure you didn’t hurt yourself. You’re okay?”
Nodding glumly, I stared at the pavement. Already the metal bars around my life were clanging shut once more.
And best of all, now I’d get to explain my reckless behavior to my parents. Which was complete bullshit. I was twenty-three. Plenty old enough to stand on my own two feet and make my own decisions.
Next time I’d start with some smart ones, just for a change of pace.
A hand appeared in my line of vision. “Get up.”
As tempting as it was to say “no” and remain right where I was, I took his offered hand and rose, eyeing him warily. Just in case I’d categorized him wrong from the little bit I had to go on, I needed to lay my cards out on the table. “I’m not going to pay you off to hide this.”
His rough laughter caught me off-guard. Big time. How could there be such melody in such a discordant sound? It was like sandpaper over skin, abrasive, even derogatory. Yet I shifted closer, wanting to hear it again. Desperate to see if it made his eyes flare with color and life.
I was eager for that most of all. Life. Experiences. Material to help me write the kind of edgy songs I longed for. I didn’t want to be just bubblegum anymore. I wanted to grow.
And how pretentious was that? Other people were struggling just to get by, and I was worried about feeding my stupid soul.
“Honey, you couldn’t afford me, I guarantee you.”
I cupped my elbows and tilted my head. “Everyone has a price.”
“Not me.” He seemed almost smug in his assertion.
“I used to say the same thing.” I gazed off into the distance, smiling wistfully at the rows of homes with the curtains pulled tight over windows backlit by the glow of lamps or TVs. We were at the edge of Kensington Square where businesses flowed into homes. A lot of windows were dark, because it was late for this neighborhood full of families.
I wouldn’t know about that. I barely saw my parents except when they wanted to keep me in line, and it had been that way since I’d begun finding success with music. Not so surprisingly,nowthey were more attentive.
At least when they worried their cash cow might stop giving milk.
“What’s yours?” he asked softly, surprising me into bringing my gaze back to his. He wasn’t the sort of man I’d have pegged as my type. Oh, he was handsome all right, but in a brutish sort of way. His jaw was sharp under his stubble, his eyes hard and unrelenting in their perusal. And I was pretty sure I’d yet to come out on the positive side of the ledger, not that I could blame him there.
Honestly, his lack of regard toward me was rather…refreshing. He didn’t act charmed or impressed or even all that aware of me as a woman. I was just a person. A bratty, petulant one at the moment, granted.
