AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No. I think it’s good to face your mistakes. And she did. She told you everything.”
She had.
We head back to Tillie’s car, but once we’re inside, we keep sitting. “There’s a great park along the water not far from here,” she says. “Would a walk help?”
“Yeah. That sounds good.”
“It’s no beachfront, but it’s nice.”
She drives us down several streets, but my gaze stays unfocused out the window. Donahue Fitzgerald. The man who doesn’t know I exist. I don’t feel any urge to look him up. If Anita can’t find him, I doubt I could, either. If he partied as hard as Anita said, he’s probably dead by now, anyway.
We park along a street lined with trees. There are winding walkways and benches in the shade.
When I step out of the car, Tillie takes my hand. I feel like I’m walking in a fog, but she’s the one clear figure.
“Will you do the DNA test?” she asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe someday.”
“Are you going to see her again?”
“I’m not sure of that, either.”
Tillie pulls me closer to her, and we stroll down the light-drenched path, past sunbathers on towels on the grassy hill, beyond a bridge that arches over the water, and around this big open space in the city where she lives.
Tillie squeezes my fingers. “You’re still struggling with something. We talked about how the meeting probably affected Anita, but what about you?”
I try to put it into words. “I feel like I’ve walked through fire.”
“And got a hug at the end. Or was that part of the fire?”
“No, I think the hug actually put out the flames. I recognized her somehow. She felt ... true.”
“I wouldn’t expect a miracle after a single meeting.”
We follow a path past a playscape where happy kids run and shout, their mothers watching from park benches.
I had that. Mom took me to the park. I had playdates and friends. Everyone knew I was adopted, but she made it not matter, even if we didn’t look alike, even if there was no nuclear family, just us.
It was a good childhood. The right one. A real gift.
I don’t have to include Anita in my life, but I have that choice now.
She’s not my mother and never will be. But she’s proven herself today. She owned up to her mistakes. Anita had a hard start and made big mistakes. But she broke a cycle. I will never know what she felt she had to do to get out of her home and find a way to survive. She recognized she was attracted to people who would hurt her and chose a different life.
These are lessons worth sharing, worth passing on.
One day, maybe, I will have kids. I will have to teach them. So will Mom.
And they could probably use all the grandmothers they can get.
Tillie’s stomach rumbles, and we both laugh.
“You think you could pause your gorgeously intense ruminations long enough to grab some lunch?” Tillie asks.
“I can.”
“Good. It’s my turn to show you a city. It’s all right here.” She gestures to the park with its pathways and trees.
