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That’s good advice. “All right.”
“And what about Tillie?”
I’m halfway through the sandwich, but that brings me to a halt. I set it down. “She won’t leave her sister and niece. I could bring them all here, hire her, and get her a work permit, but she’s worried about putting that level of strain on us from the beginning.”
“She can be a visitor for six months.”
“But without a work permit, she’d really be stuck with me. And Lila doesn’t trust me. There’s just no way.”
Mom rests her chin on her hands, her elbows on the table. She must have dyed her roots while I was gone because her tumbling hair is unbrokenly black. “And you’re not moving there?”
“I could. I don’t know. She doesn’t want me to give up the bar. She was pretty adamant about it. She feels La Jarra is perfect compared to the city.”
Mom fiddles with the fringe on the orange placemats. “Then you two said your goodbyes?”
“Basically.”
“Will you be okay?”
I shrug and force myself to eat a few more bites.
“I don’t believe for a minute that you went through all this with Tillie and Anita for nothing,” she says. “When the world is moving with this much purpose, the earth itself will break open, and an opportunity will peek through the crack. Keep your spirit ready, Gabe. Watch for the shift.”
I sip my swanky and stare out the sunny window over the sink. Mom always says things like that. But in this case, we knew what we were getting into, and it ended the only way it could.
Chapter 35
TILLIE
Gabe’s departure kicks off the bluest period of my life I’ve ever known. Everything feels dull and desaturated, like every day is so overcast that you never see the sun.
I’m sure the one-two punch of both separating from this amazing man I met and leaving a paradise island to return to my mediocre life put me over the edge.
Not to mention losing the daily presence of my oldest sister, who took taking care of us younger siblings very seriously far longer than would have been expected.
Ensley stops by about a week after Gabe goes home. Lila has finally cracked the code on the pizza sauce at the restaurant where she works and insists on making it for us.
She puts Rosie to bed and we have a late dinner, arguing amiably over the validity of pineapple as a pizza topping, throwing more cheese on than necessary, and adding and removing black olives from various sections behind each other’s backs.
But eventually, two small pizzas go into the oven. We discuss what to drink, and Ensley asks if I have the ingredients for a swanky panky.
And that’s it. I burst into tears.
We end up at the banged-up kitchen table, me sitting down and my two sisters fussing over me. Lila presses a tissue into my hand while Ensley tucks my hair behind my ears to keep it out of my face.
“How did you two leave it?” Ensley asks.
“The only two choices were for him to be my boss or to get married!” The end comes out as a wail, and I hide behind the tissue. “And I can’t exactly leave Lila and Rosie! And you and Drew! And Garrett!”
Lila slides a glass of water onto the table in front of me. “Take some slow sips,” she says.
I grasp the cup, but the ice rattles as I bring it to my mouth.
“Have you been talking to him?” Ensley asks. “Are you sure it’s over?”
“Sh-sh-sure, we text.” I sound four years old. “But he’s t-t-two flights away. And I can’t afford to go. And I hate my job. And I’m stuck and I can’t do anything.”
My vision blurs as I spot Ensley sending an alarmed look over my head at Lila. “Has she been like this since he left?”
