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“Tillie! You were with him three weeks! It’s in the past. Leave him in the past.”
I stare at her. “What is wrong with you? I already told you I wasn’t going. Why do you hate him so much? You’ve never liked him. You made me lose that last night with him. For what?”
“You didn’t lose anything! He came here anyway!”
“Is this about Dodge? Are you mad because Gabe is so wonderful when Dodge was so awful?”
“No!”
“Then what is it?”
She picks up Rosie and heads for the kitchen, but I follow her. “Lila! What has gotten into you?”
She whirls around. “Ensley has Drew! You have Gabe! All I have are my terrible choices! I work at a dirty, awful pizza joint! I can’t affordto pay my own bills! And you—you’re going to leave me for him. I just know it! Then what will I do?”
Rosie’s face puckers. She shoves her face into Lila’s chest.
I work hard to keep my voice calm and even. “I would never abandon you and Rosie. There was no conversation between me and Gabe that didn’t involve both of you. We realized it couldn’t work, so I let him go.”
“How am I supposed to live with that?” Lila’s voice is high-pitched, but even in her upset, she pats Rosie’s back to keep her calm. “I can’t ask you to sacrifice anything else for me!”
I squeeze my hands into fists. “I can’t win with you! If I stay, you can’t live with your guilt. If I go, you fall apart. What do you want to happen here?”
We’re both stopped by a plaintive siren sound from my phone. It’s the alert.
Landfall expected in four hours. Storm status: Upgraded to Category 1 Hurricane.
“Still want to be with him?” Lila asks, her voice almost a sob. “At risk of dying?”
“I do, actually.” I press my hand to my mouth, and think about it again. “I really do. If there is a storm to be endured, I’d rather endure it with him than avoid it and not be with him.”
Lila takes a step back. “Really?”
“Really.” I start pacing. “Gabe is in a dangerous storm. I want to be there and weather it with him.” I turn to face Lila. “It doesn’t matter that it was only three weeks!”
She presses Rosie to her shoulder. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” I pick up my phone to text Gabe one more message.
Me:Whenever there is danger, I want to face it with you. Danger worries me less than going through it without you.
My heart pounds against my chest for every second that passes by without a reply. Was that too much? Should I have kept that feeling to myself?
No. If that’s the last thing I get to say to him before his cell towers go down, then that’s what needs to be said. It was the right thing, even if it was too much for him. Even if that’s not what he wants.
But then a message comes through.
Gabe:I feel the same. If there’s something to endure, I want to do it with you.
Lila peers at the screen. “So, that’s it?”
I shrug. “I can’t do anything about it. But I had to say it.”
She nods and heads back to her room. I watch the storm all the rest of the day. It skirts the beaches of La Jarra midafternoon. The video footage is terrifying.
Giant waves swamp the beaches where we walked. Docks fly through the air and disintegrate into pieces. Boats smash together like children’s toys.
And I get no more messages from Gabe.
