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“But it’s yours.”
“I like the idea of leaving you something of mine.”
“We have the swanky panky.”
“That one isours.”
I stare at the floor. Her toenails are still blue, matching the dress she wore the day we met.
Right. The bridesmaid dress.
For the wedding.
For her vacation.
Because she’s a tourist.
And our time is short.
Everything keeps coming back to that.
She walks to the sink to rinse out the glass. She hums as she works, and something in me starts to give. She’s perfect, better at my job than I am. She loves it more.
But when I’m with her, I love it more, too. She elevates what we do into something that matters to me.
Likeshematters to me.
And I’ll have to do something about this, or in a few days, I lose it all.
Chapter 23
TILLIE
When I wake up with Gabe, I feel hungover. It’s not the liquor. I didn’t even feel any effects from the one drink.
It was the talk.
He’s adopted. His mother gave him up. He never knew his father.
This feels so important. A set of matching holes in our childhoods.
I cuddle up against his bare back. He’s still sleeping.
I’m torn about how to handle the rest of the vacation. I’ve spent way less time with Lila than I planned.
But these days with Gabe are so precious.
Something inside me feels like it’s tearing, a thin veil wrapped around my old life. I’ve been treading water for years. And not ocean water, either. Sour, dank dishwater from a bar.
There’s no way to fix this. I can’t stay here. I already gathered from some of Gabe’s and his friends’ comments that La Jarra is a difficult place to move for foreigners. This was solidified by my sister’s midnight texts after the kayak trip. She sent a ton of links to articles about the permit process required to immigrate. She’s doing her older-sister thing, trying to make me see reason.
But all that information is for people trying to live here permanently. Lila was in on the texts, and she added her counterpoint, anarticle about the island requiring more service workers. Work visas for tourism jobs aren’t nearly so hard to get as residency. The resorts always need waiters and housekeeping help.
Gabe stirs and turns around to draw me to his chest. “You look serious for so early in the morning.”
“I’m good.” I tuck my head into that tempting space between his shoulder and his neck. It’s my favorite place, and I’ll only have four more mornings to get it.
He sits up, taking me with him. “It’s Saturday. We have the whole morning before I open the bar. Let’s do something to remember.”
