AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What if she still loves you?”
“I don’t think she ever did.”
I’m not sure I understand. “Maybe you should start from the beginning.”
He lets out a rush of air. “She’s Anita Clemens. She was pregnant when she got to the island. She was young. Nineteen, I think. She worked a six-month visa, and by then it was apparent to everyone that she was far along.”
Oh God. Some pregnant woman did a number on Gabe? To this level of distress? My anger rises. “What did she do?”
“She slept with so many people. Like everyone she came in contact with. Later, when it was clear she was pregnant, people speculated she was trying to trap someone and find a way to live here.”
I want to ask if he was one of the people she slept with. Maybe she was his first, and that’s what got him so worked up? But I just listen.
“My mom met her. She was doing volunteer work at the hospital. She thinks she might be the last person who saw her. All I know is thatAnita Clemens gave birth to me, and then the day we were supposed to check out of the hospital, she left me there.”
My brain stutters. Gavebirthto him?
Oh my God. Gabe isn’t talking about some girl he knew. He’s talking about hisbirth mother. I press my hands to his cheeks. “Gabe.”
“I mean, it’s not like she had me, refused to even look at me, and ran. She actually knew me for a couple of days. She nursed me. Shetried. I don’t know. Maybe I was cranky. Maybe I wasn’t cute enough—”
“Gabe. Stop. You were a baby. An infant. She was obviously a mess. This is on her. All of it.” My head is swirling with all the new information. I knew he was adopted, but not the how or the why.
Gabe holds up a hand. “I know all that. I know it all intellectually. I can rationalize it all day long. People can say it to me like you are doing now. A million therapists taught me to cope. But something about being left behind has stuck with me. That’s where my actions stop making sense. Like I’m behaving irrationally. Mostly, I don’t give anyone the chance to let me down.”
“I know what you mean, Gabe. My dad—he was right there. Just on the other side of a bedroom door. And his hungry, scraggly children couldn’t get him to come out and help them. I’ve ignored it, too, how awful he was. I told myself that it didn’t matter because I never really knew him, just like you never really knew Anita. But maybe both of us carry this terrible load.”
“Your dad was right there?”
“My whole life. He’s still there, sixty years old, and has to be frozen inside. I can’t imagine what goes through his head. So I know what you mean. Maybe we’re supposed to figure this out together.”
“You think so?”
I take both of his hands. “Let’s find her, Gabe. Let’s go to Georgia to track her down and get some answers. Maybe it will connect these pieces. Maybe she’ll be a horrible person, someone you can easily write off. Or maybe she’ll have a reason. Something you couldn’t evenimagine. And that will change your perspective on why you think you’re broken. Which you’re not. I think you’re perfect.”
“Will you see your dad?”
“We’ve tried. Over and over. And maybe it won’t work for you, either. But trying helps. It really does. It passes a load from you to them.”
He hangs on to me like we’re lashed together on a boat in a storm. The sun beams down on us. Tourists begin to fill the beach chairs. A couple of them sit on the stools, peering into the hut as if wondering where the bartender might be.
But we hold on. Life can’t intrude. Not yet.
Then my phone buzzes. I pull away from Gabe. It’s Lila.Got food. Be there in under an hour.
“I don’t have a lot of time,” I tell Gabe. “I can’t change my flight. I don’t think I can afford the change fees.” I laugh a little. “I’m really poor. I apologize for that.”
He nods. “I’ve been waiting for a future I’ve never been able to visualize.” He runs his thumb across my lips. “But maybe I see it now.”
We walk to the back of the hut, carefully hopping over the heart I left him.
“I took a picture,” Gabe says. “I was going to frame it for the bar.”
I squeeze his hand. “That’s perfect.”
He looks around. “My lease isn’t up for another year.”
I open the dishwasher and start unloading the glasses. “Don’t think that far ahead. Just get these people drinks, and I’ll help you set up. I’ll stay right here until Lila comes.”
