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If those two couldn’t find their way back to one another, he wasn’t sure what hope there was for the rest of humanity. Not that he’d ever been much of a romantic, but from the outside looking in, Keaton and Camilla had seemed perfect together.
Knox wasn’t even sure why it bothered him so much. It’s not like he wanted what they’d had. He wasn’t looking for forever.
Shaking his head, he tried to erase the lingering thoughts that were looming over his mind like dark, foreboding clouds.
Tonight was about Laura. The woman drove him crazy. He’d never had to jump through so many hoops just to get a woman to agree to spend time with him, and he sure as hell had never been taken to a sperm bank as a first date.
Nothing about this situation was conventional. Including his covert op just to get to her house. She’d insisted that he walk and not drive because she didn’t want anyone to know about their illicit rendezvous. She’d told him to wait until it was dark to come over and even instructed him to come through the wooded area that her home backed up to and not the main street so that he could come in from the back of the house so no one would see him enter or leave.
At first, he’d thought that the sneaking around would be sort of hot, but now that he was doing it, he just felt like a dirty secret or something, which he supposed he was. Which felt odd since they weren’t having an affair.
Logically, he knew he shouldn’t take her insistence that no one could know about them personally. He understood that she didn't want the entire town to know that they were seeing each other. He hadn’t been there that long, but he’d witnessed just how fast word spread here.
Emotionally, however, it was proving to be a little bit more of a tough pill to swallow. For the next few months that he was in town, he wanted everyone to know that Laura was his. He’d never had the urge to claim someone before, but with Laura, he wanted to call shotgun, or dibs, or whatever he could do to show people that he was hers and that she was his.
There was just one problem with that: she wasn’t. Not even kind of. She’d agreed to have sex with him for purely procreative purposes. And even then, she’d had to be talked into it.
As he continued on the path through the field, he noticed his palms were sweaty. It had been years since he’d been this nervous when it came to women. He hadn’t had these sorts of jitters since his first time with Kailey Mitchell. After being with her, his confidence in his ability overrode any anxiety.
But this, this wasn’t just sex. These were uncharted territories. Everything was ass backwards. He wasn’t officially dating this woman, but he was trying to get her pregnant.
Knox’s mind was still spinning when, finally, after a ten-minute walk, he arrived at the blue wooden gate that Laura had described leading to her backyard. He pushed it open and walked into what he could only describe as a backyard oasis. A tiny whimsical wonderland.
Her backyard was small but very cozy. Lights were strung overhead, and there was a small pergola on the patio that covered a farm-style dining table that had twinkle lights. He imagined Laura hosting parties out here. He imagined him coming up behind her and kissing her neck as they entertained friends and family.
The image hit him like a kick to the balls. It knocked the wind out of him.
Shaking his head, he tried to erase the unwanted scene like his brain was an Etch-A-Sketch. Never in his life had he envisioned domestic-type scenarios with a significant other. Which had been a big issue for most of the women he dated.
When he’d told them he didn’t see a future with them, he'd meant it. He’d never seen anything more than the present with any woman he’d dated.
So why in the fuck was he imagining rom-com-style movie scenes with Laura when their situationship was a baby-making arrangement and nothing else?
He exhaled as he took the back steps in one long stride. Lifting his hand, he was about to knock when the door flew open.
"Come in." Laura waved her arm, indicating that he should hurry.
The woman clearly did not want him loitering outside, even in the privacy of her backyard. He knew that her aversion to anyone knowing about them hooking up had little or nothing to do with him and everything to do with the gossip train that chugged around the small town, but it was hard not to take her behavior personally.
He stepped inside the house and saw they were in the kitchen. There were stainless steel appliances, and white shaker cabinets ran along two walls with an island in the center that was navy blue and topped with butcher block. Two large pendant lights hung above the island. The kitchen looked familiar because it had the same tile, cabinetry, and appliances as the apartment above the shop.
"Nice place," he said as he looked around and handed her the bouquet of purple daisies similar to the one he’d given her on their first date.
She stared down at them for a beat before looking up at him. She started to say something but then closed her mouth and walked over to the sink, opened the cabinet, and pulled out a vase.
"They’re beautiful. Thanks."
She filled the glass container with water and then set the flowers in it.
Knox watched her as she threw away the paper that had been wrapped around the stems. There was something off. He had always been good at reading people, but he’d had a hard time knowing what Laura was thinking. It was clear she was nervous. But he felt like there was more to her nerves. He wondered if maybe she’d changed her mind about the situation. He would be disappointed, but he would never want her to go through with anything she’d regret later.
He was going to tell her that nothing had to happen tonight when she clapped her hands together loudly.
"Did you want a tour?" Her voice was several octaves higher than it normally was.
"Sure." He nodded and followed behind her.
She fanned her arms around her. "This is the kitchen, clearly, and this is the dining area, but as you can see, I use it mostly for storage." There was a round table with four chairs in the center of the room, and boxes were stacked on all the walls. "And this is the TV room. You remember Jello and Sofie."
