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Tommy froze, his eyes widened. “Harley? My Harley?”
“Your ex-wife, yes.”
“Why?” he demanded. “Who invited her? What the fuck?”
“I don’t know. She and Aurora were going at it, but they clammed up when I walked over to them. I told Aurora this wasn’t the time or the place for her shit, and she took off like her ass was on fire.”
“She’s always pissed about something lately,” Tommy muttered.
“It sounds like it’s starting,” I said quietly. “We should go in.”
“Let’s get this over with, man. I fucking hate funerals.” Tommy walked ahead of us, and I slid my arm through Zeke’s elbow.
“I’ll be so ready for a drink when this is over,” Armand said.
“I’m going to need a lot of drinks tonight,” Aunt Meg agreed. “And I don’t drink very often.”
“There are certain events in life that require alcohol to survive,” Zeke said. “This definitely qualifies.”
I wasn’t much of a drinker either, but I had to agree.
It was going to be a very long, sad afternoon.
38
Zeke
The thing about tears was that they served no real purpose. I didn’t like to cry as a general rule, but not showing how much losing Carter had impacted me felt wrong too. For whatever reason, letting my new bride see me cry was unacceptable, which was partly why I’d been avoiding her the last few days, but there was no escape during the funeral. She nestled into my side, supporting me even though I’d been a douche canoe to her lately.
God, I loved her.
I’d pulled her into this fucked-up shit show of a life of mine, and she never hesitated to be there for me.
I had so much to make up for with my new bride, but I was hanging on by a thread. The tightness in my chest was so painful I couldn’t breathe sometimes. The only time I got any relief was when I was holding my son. Late at night, when everyone else was asleep, I’d sit in his room and watch him until he got restless. Then I’d pick him up, feed him, and hold him close, drinking in his warmth. His innocence. The unconditional love I’d never felt before. The love of a child was unlike anything else, and right now it was one of the only things I had to hold on to.
Well, him and my wife. Whom I’d been treating like shit.
I promised myself I’d fix it.
Soon.
As soon as I could inhale without feeling like my soul was going to shatter into a million pieces.
There were just so many things to sort out.
We could grieve and take time to process what had happened, but at the end of the day, we ran a multi-million-dollar company that was now missing an integral part. We had a new album coming out and a tour in the works. We had a lot of hard decisions to make, and I didn’t even know where to start. No one had said anything, but now that we were together, it felt like the right time.
Except Aurora beat me to it.
“Did you see Aurora’s email?” Kingston asked me as we filed out of the funeral parlor.
“No.” I met his gaze. “What’d she say?”
“Carter’s lawyer needs us all there when he reads the will, and then we need to have a band meeting.”
“Without her,” I said quietly. “We meet without her first. I don’t give a shit who’s loyal to her. The band’s first loyalty should be to each other.”
“Absolutely.” Kingston looked around. “Can we do it now? Come with me in my limo? Just the four of us. Didi can ride with your family since we’re all going to your house anyway?”
