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And now this.
I had two more tests to take but I would have to wait.
Okay, no.
What the hell was I thinking? I couldn’t wait until morning.
I’d probably have an anxiety attack by then.
I quickly peed on the other two tests and left them on the counter before hurrying to Aunt Meg’s room. I trusted her with everything, and she was probably the only person who’d be able to get me through this. At the very least, I needed her advice because this was the last thing either of us needed.
“Aunt Meg?” I knocked lightly on her door before opening it a few inches. “Are you awake? I need to talk to you.”
She looked up from the book she was reading and then slowly closed it.
“Come on in. What’s wrong?” She knew me so well.
Without thinking, I thrust the positive pregnancy test in her direction. The one with the blue letters flashing the word “pregnant” like an angry beacon bringing a message of despair.
“Oh, my.” Aunt Meg’s eyes widened for a moment. Then she met my eyes. “How reliable are these types of tests? I’ve never used one.”
“I’m waiting for two more tests, different brands, but they’re supposedly fairly accurate.” My voice sounded funny to my own ears.
“Okay, breathe. You look like you’re about to pass out.” She swung her legs over the side of her bed with surprising dexterity and moved to sit on the edge of the mattress with me. “This was with Zeke, yes?”
“There’s never been anyone else,” I replied in a harsh whisper, my eyes flooding with tears. “Oh my god. What am I going to do?”
“You have to get in touch with him.” She paused. “Unless you just want to terminate and be done?”
I buried my face in my hands. I had no idea what I might do. The thought of ending the pregnancy, and making the whole thing go away, was appealing. But another part of me wasn’t sure. Would I regret it? Would I be a good mom? Did I even know how to be a mom? I had a thousand questions and no answers.
“You don’t have to decide tonight,” Aunt Meg said softly. “Let’s go look at the other two tests. Tomorrow, you go see the doctor.”
“We were careful!” I whispered. “He always used a condom and—” My breath stalled in my lungs as my blood turned to ice. “Oh shit.”
“What?”
“There was a moment… it was literally seconds. It was early in the morning. He started to…” I had no issue talking to Aunt Meg about most things but giving her the details of the sex I’d had with Zeke bordered on embarrassing. “It was literally just a second or so. He wasn’t even all the way in when we realized it and he stopped to put on a condom.”
“You know that a man doesn’t have to ejaculate, right? The pre-ejaculate, that clear liquid that comes out when he’s aroused? That’s the same thing.”
“Dammit.” I closed my eyes.
This was my nightmare.
One of the reasons I’d avoided sex.
I had no business getting pregnant at this stage of my life. I was basically a college dropout since I wasn’t going to graduate, was waiting tables to survive, with no idea what the future held. Aunt Meg and I were barely scraping by. How the hell could we afford a baby?
The two other tests were positive as well, and Aunt Meg and I sat up half the night discussing options.
“You didn’t do this by yourself,” Aunt Meg pointed out. “You have to tell him what happened and find out what he wants to do.”
“He wants to never talk to me again,” I said miserably. “That’s what he wants.”
“Too bad. It was his fault he didn’t put the condom on right away.”
“I don’t have any way to get in touch with him.”
