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“According to our manager it is.”
“Oh my god. Okay, I need dates because if that happens, I’m flying to Paris. I’ll use comp time, sick days, I don’t even care.”
“Somehow, I knew that’s what you were going to say.”
“Your new life is pretty damn exciting!”
“I know. That’s why I don’t want to lose it.”
“But that’s why you need to pre-empt anything bad that might happen.”
“I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and find out it’s all been nothing but a dream.”
“It’s real, girlfriend. With the potential for real disaster.”
“I know. I need to survive for three months. December, January, and February. Once I get past the tour, I’ll tell Kingston everything and see what he thinks I should do.”
“And if you’re not together by then?”
I sighed.
I couldn’t think about that.
I had to focus on the here and now.
Tomorrow was too far away.
23
Kingston
The next week was a flurry of activity, between conference calls with Sasha, meetings with the crew, and gearing up for hardcore rehearsals. It looked like Thanksgiving in New York was going to happen, so now we had to rehearse for that as well, and I hadn’t realized Devyn was still working her day job. She’d moved to part-time, but she had to log hours to keep her health insurance, and while we could have covered that, I understood her reluctance to change plans when she was locked into a short-term contract.
I’d known the contract she’d signed officially ended when we finished the European tour, but while it made sense, now I felt bad. That made us seem like we were still testing her, which wasn’t entirely accurate. Yes, we’d needed a way out for all of us should things not go well on tour, but we also didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t really one of us. There was a tiny part of me who almost wished she wasn’t such a good fit with the band. Then I could end the professional relationship and start openly dating her.
I didn’t have to say the words out loud to know how shitty it was to even think that way, but that’s how twisted up inside she had me. I’d never dealt with feelings like this before, so while I wanted to chalk them up to nothing but sex, deep down I was warring with the idea that this might be something more. I hated having to sneak around, not being able to touch her unless we were alone, and the idea that she felt she had one foot out the door. That didn’t work professionally, and I sure as hell didn’t like it on the personal front.
I’d never met anyone like her, and I’d never had this kind of musical bond with anyone I’d been involved with romantically.
That made Devyn perfect in my eyes.
I’d lived and breathed rock and roll since I was sixteen, and I’d never let societal norms dictate my life.
So why the hell was I doing it now?
Because it was better for her.
Because I had absolutely nothing to lose while she could lose everything.
And I had to remember that.
“It’s not like Devyn to be this late,” Z said, as we waited for her to start rehearsal. Since she was still working shifts at Black Kat Studios a few days a week, and we’d adjusted our rehearsal schedule to accommodate that, but it was after seven and she’d said she could be here by six-thirty. L.A. traffic could be unpredictable, but if that was the case, why hadn’t she called?
“You think she’s okay?” Z asked at twenty after seven.
“I’m going to call her,” I said, pulling out my phone just as the door opened and Devyn came in with Grim behind her. I hadn’t called him today, so I was surprised to see them together.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “There was an incident at the studio.”
