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I was the consummate bachelor. And I liked it that way. There were so many fish in the sea, I’d never thought it made sense to commit yourself to just one. Someone shinier, newer, more interesting, always came along.
Right?
It didn’t feel that way with Devyn.
I would be hard pressed to find someone else like her.
Someone who wanted to live my dream life right along with me.
She checked every single one of my boxes. I couldn’t think of anything I would change about her or that I wished she had or did. She was my nirvana, inside and out. And yet, I was still hesitant. If she’d been anyone else, I would have just gone with the flow, like I’d done with Cheyenne and the handful of women I’d gotten into relationships with. I’d known they probably wouldn’t go anywhere since they would have to give up their lives to be with me, but I’d been okay with being faithful while it lasted.
That wouldn’t cut it with Devyn.
She’d been clear that she wouldn’t be willing to make things public until she had a commitment, but she’d also said she wasn’t looking for anything. A bit of a contradiction, even though I understood. She was focused on her career, and at this stage, she wasn’t willing to risk one for the other.
It all made sense.
So why was I so unsettled thinking about the possibility that this wouldn’t work between us? And why did keeping things a secret bother me so much?
It was fucked up.
I was fucked up.
In a way, the whole band was.
Z was the only one who’d managed to finally break free of the relationship curse that seemed to follow us around. None of us had ever been good at it, and if it hadn’t been for Lexi accidentally finding out about Z’s son, he and Presley might not be together either. Tommy was divorced, even though he was still in love with his ex. Carter had been in love with someone who didn’t return his feelings, and I knew he’d died loving a woman he couldn’t have, even though he’d never told me who it was. I could never seem to stay interested in any woman I got involved with, and Kellan had been dating the same woman on and off for something like six years without giving her the commitment she’d been expecting. He’d recently ended it, but I’d heard that before, and I didn’t like our track record as a whole.
I wouldn’t say it out loud, because it sounded crazy even to me, but I didn’t want Devyn to be another casualty of Onyx Knight’s bad relationship luck.
* * *
Our final rehearsal before we left for New York was on Tuesday. We were leaving the following day on a private jet, we’d perform Thursday morning, and head for the airport as soon as we were done. With the three-hour time difference, we’d be back in L.A. in time for a late Thanksgiving dinner at Z’s house.
“Everyone ready for the Thanksgiving gig?” Sasha asked when we gathered for rehearsal. She wasn’t coming to New York with us, since her husband Anton had two days off from hockey, but we were having a short video meeting to go over last-minute details of the show.
“I love New York,” Devyn said. “I’m staying a few extra days since my bestie lives there.”
I hadn’t realized that and for some reason I was disappointed. I’d been looking forward to us having some down time together. The band weren’t planning to rehearse over the holiday weekend so I’d assumed she would hang with me for at least part of the time. And the idea that she would be partying with friends in Manhattan without me made me… jealous?
What the fuck?
“That sounds fun,” Sasha was saying. “This is my favorite time of year to be in Manhattan, but with Anton home, we’re going to have friends over and make it a real Thanksgiving. Priorities change when you have kids, I guess.”
“Then how come I still have to play on Thanksgiving?” Z muttered. “I have a kid.” The twinkle in his eyes told us he was joking, but it was obvious his priorities were changing too.
And that was another thing that made me uncomfortable.
We’d been a hard-rocking party band since day one.
I didn’t know who we were if we weren’t lighting it up every night.
I hated not being on tour, and if Z wanted to slow down to spend more time with his family, we’d all have to shift gears. Especially me.
“King?” They were all looking at me and I realized my mind had wandered.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I just wanted you to know there’s a paternity suit in the pipeline,” Sasha said, laughing.
