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“Where are you originally from?”
“All over, actually. My dad was in the army, so we moved around a lot. I’ve lived in more countries than most people twice my age. Then, when I was old enough, I enlisted myself.”
“So, it’s in your blood?”
“Yeah, I guess it was.”
The moment feels less light-hearted than it did before, making me feel like I’ve done something wrong, but I don’t know him well enough to know what to avoid.
“Something happened. Shit, I’m sorry. That was really insensitive of me. Please don’t answer that.”
He waves me off. “It’s fine. I was a different man back then than I am now. I loved being a soldier. It was all I dreamed of. After my dad died, it became a way of staying connected to him. But I guess in a way, it was like meeting one of your idols and realizing they didn’t quite live up to the hype.”
I turn my attention from him to Slade, who rounds the back of the car to join us. Trying to give Jagger a break, I smile at Slade and question him instead, not realizing my question is like throwing a live grenade at him.
“What about you, Slade? Were you in the army too?”
His body goes rock solid. This is why I don’t interact with people. I suck at it. I don’t know what I’ve said, but I clearly should have kept my mouth shut.
“I was,” he answers, but doesn’t say anything else, so I drop it. Suddenly, a day out doesn’t seem nearly as exciting as it once did.
“I’ll be back. I need to grab something.” Slade heads off without another word and doesn’t look back. As the distance stretches between us, I can’t help but remind myself that for all the ways we’ve gotten to know each other over the last few weeks, there is still an ocean full of secrets between us all. I’m not in a position to pass judgment.
Jagger breaks the silence. “Do you want to get something to eat?”
I feel like I have rocks in my stomach, so the last thing I want is food. But I nod anyway and let him take my hand so he can lead me to wherever it is he wants to take me. I feel on edge, the shine of the town not working its magic any longer. I wish we were back at the ranch, either in the bedroom away from prying eyes or lost in one of my games.
“He’s not mad at you.”
Jagger’s voice jolts me out of my thoughts as he holds the door open to a mom-and-pop diner.
“I know,” I tell him softly. He might be pissed that I asked, but Slade has to know I would never ask him something to hurt him on purpose.
“I figured his time in the army wasn’t a good one. I should have kept my mouth shut. I’m sorry.”
He nudges me into a booth near the window before sliding in beside me.
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know it was a hot topic. We don’t know each other well enough yet to know what to avoid.” He sighs, echoing my thoughts.
“Is he going to be okay?”
“Yeah, he’ll walk it off, and when he comes back, he’ll be fine. It’s been a rough few years for him. I… Fuck. It’s not my story to tell, Astrid. I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
I slide my hand over one of his and shake my head. “No, I understand. If or when he wants to tell me, I’ll be here. He doesn’t owe me an explanation, though. Neither of you do. I just feel bad for upsetting him.”
“A bit like what we did earlier when we pushed about the paintballing?”
I lean back and look at him as a waitress approaches. We order coffee and pancakes—banana ones for Jagger and blueberry ones for me.
“I don’t like guns. I can be around them. It’s not the gun itself that’s an issue, but the noise it makes when it’s being fired.”
He opens his mouth to ask more, but I shake my head.
“I’m not ready. If or when I am, I’ll tell you, but trust is hard for me. These last few weeks, I’ve felt closer to both of you than I have to anyone else in a long, long time. If you knew me at all, you’d understand just how big a deal that is.”
He flips his hand over and slides his fingers between mine. “Patience is not one of my virtues.”
“Sucks to be you, then.”
